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Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job.
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Q: Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
A: In a cat-alogue!
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
Q: Did you hear about the tree’s birthday?
A: It was a sappy one!
I’ve never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunt’s gift—a scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. One year, she must have had better things to do because I received a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and a how-to-knit book. Her … Read More
Doctor, doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Try taking the candles off.