Make a wish

Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

A: They were all born on holidays.

Today is your birthday, so congratulate yourself, especially if you’re still young enough to remember it.

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

Doctor, doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

Try taking the candles off.

Q: What goes up and never comes down?

A: Your age.

Q: How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?

A: He had a whale of a time.

I’ve never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.

You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.