Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?
A: `I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...'
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Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
Q: What do you call friends who love math?
Q: Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
A: Because you should never drink and derive.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
A: To get to the same side.
Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A middle school math problem!
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.
I put my root beer in a square glass. Now it’s just beer.