Missed Opportunity

If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

Recording on an Australian tax help line

The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today.

Restaurant in peace.

Scene: A bookstore Customer: Can you help me find a book? Me: Of course. Do you know the author or title? Customer: Well, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it. I want … Read More

I told the kids I never want to 
live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from 
a bottle. So they unplugged my 
computer and threw out my wine.

Submitted by Beverly McLaughlin, 
Burnsville, Minnesota

I used to find buying books from Amazon slow and inconvenient, until one day the 
receptionist suggested 
I use their website.

Peter Serafinowicz

The closest I’ve been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser history.

@PaulyPeligroso

"I’ll miss you, Great-Grandma," wrote my mother’s great-grandson in an e-mail he sent before shipping out to Iraq. "I’ll miss you too, dear," she responded. "Stay safe. LOL, Great-Grandma." Poor Mom didn’t … Read More

I. What You Need to Know Now About the Lord Totally Being God

II. At the Beginning He Had 
Me Confused, but by Minute Two I Knew that I Shouldn’t Have Other Gods

III. Are You Making This Common Mistake with Graven Images?

IV. How I … Read More