The only difference in my life when I'm on a diet is instead of saying "I ate nachos," I say "I accidentally ate nachos."
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I’m not vegetarian because I love animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
Do you call a person who has abandoned their diet a desserter?
I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
I’m not fat, but I’m not thin either. I’m at a point where you can definitely tell I like chocolate cake.
Is it true that a collection of jokes about dieting can be referred to as: ‘a binge of jokes’?
Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
Q. What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A. A beer in each hand.
My brain said “crunches” but my stomach auto-corrected it to “cupcakes.”