The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
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The most fattening thing that you can put in an ice cream sundae is the spoon.
Chocolate chips are fattening, about 50 calories a tablespoon. However, chocolate chips eaten while making chocolate chip cookies have no calories whatsoever. Therefore make chocolate chip cookies often but don’t eat them.
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
It took a lot of willpower, but I finally gave up dieting.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?
I tell people I’m on a low-carb diet. But in reality, I just eat pasta while lying on the floor.
Why are most horses in shape? Because they are on a stable diet.