The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
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Nutrition question: How many Skittles equal one serving of fruit?
I wish I hated pizza as much as pizza hates me.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
I’m going to open up a low carb bakery and I’m going to call it No Bun Intended.
How do most people curb their appetite? At the drive thru window.
Q: Why go to the paint store when you’re on a diet?
A: You can get thinner there.
Q: How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.