Luke Skywalker is my favorite hero that looks 100 percent prepared to figure skate at all times.
@thenatewolf (Nathan Usher)
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I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
I’m reading a great book about antigravity—I just can’t put it down.
Triscuit is the perfect
combination of cracker and doormat.
At what age do you think it’s appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted?
I always wanted to be somebody, but I guess I should’ve been more specific.
You’re sending me something via fax? What is it, an important document from 1993?
My dad didn’t text me after the Patriots game, which is basically a Life Alert signal if you’re from New England.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.