No-sense Sensor

The first time my mother flew, she was a nervous wreck. During takeoff, the roar from the engines proved 
reassuring—it meant they were working, she reasoned. But when the plane leveled off, so did the engines. Grabbing the armrests, … Read More

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.

“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral… Read More

“What are you doing?” asked my mother after I pressed several 
buttons on her microwave.

“Reheating these leftovers for two minutes at 80 percent.”

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Sure. How do you reheat bacon… Read More

Washington tourist on cell: “I found the house I want to live 
in when I move to DC, but then I found out it was the Smithsonian.”


overheardeverywhere.com

I was cuddling with my girlfriend, and she said, “I love lying here with you.”

“I once caught a fish, and it was five feet long and spoke Hebrew,” I replied. She stared at me, confused. “That was my lie,” I said.

“Oh, right… Read More

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.

Paul F. Crickmore, test pilot

Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment.

Source: milhist.net

It’s easy to get disoriented when visiting New York City. One 
befuddled tourist asked his hotel concierge, “The last time we were 
in NYC, we got out of a subway, and we saw some water and some boats. Do you know where that is?”

via howmaywehateyou.com