A funny thing with a diet, the second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
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Do you call a person who has abandoned their diet a desserter?
Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A: You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he’s trying to “Diet Hard.”
“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
I’m going to open up a low carb bakery and I’m going to call it No Bun Intended.
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.