A funny thing with a diet, the second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
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Q. What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A. A beer in each hand.
Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
A: It hasn’t been tested on mice.
My snack got lost in my purse, so I guess I’m on a diet now.—@msgweni
Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.
D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley
I’m not vegetarian because I love animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate vegetables.