Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
A: Because the present's beneath them.
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Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
What do snowmen call their offspring?
Q: What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?
Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
A: He uses Comet.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones?
A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.
Q: What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one says to the other, “What do you think about this Satan stuff?”
“Well, you remember Santa? This could turn out to be your dad too.”
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
A: It needed to be trimmed.