Q: How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, but where do you get your protein!?
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Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!
I tell people I’m on a low-carb diet. But in reality, I just eat pasta while lying on the floor.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.
Q. What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A. A beer in each hand.
I’m on day 2 of a “diet” which means I’m always one minor annoyance away from eating every single person in my office.
Q: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow?
A: One if nobody’s looking.
Is it true that a collection of jokes about dieting can be referred to as: ‘a binge of jokes’?
Q: When should you go on a cheese diet?
A: If you need to cheddar few pounds.