Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
Q: What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!
Q: What do skeletons say before eating?
A: Bone Appetit!
Q: Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
A: He was caught drinking on the job!
Q: What is a vampire’s pet peeve?
A: A Tourniquet!
Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!