I'm on day 2 of a "diet" which means I'm always one minor annoyance away from eating every single person in my office.
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Nutrition question: How many Skittles equal one serving of fruit?
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
How do most people curb their appetite? At the drive thru window.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
You have a Slim-Fast for breakfast, a Slim-Fast for lunch; then, you eat a “sensible dinner.” How sensible are you going to be after eating powder all day?
It’s hard to lose weight when you have an overactive knife and fork.