I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.
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Don’t use “beef stew” as a computer password. It’s not stroganoff.
Playing around with my new iTouch, I decided to get directions to my son’s base from my home in Maryland. So I typed "Wahiawa, Hawaii." I got turn-by-turn directions until I hit the coast. Then I was told, "Kayak across the… Read More
If you think
eggplant is good, you should try any other food; it’s much better.
Triscuit is the perfect
combination of cracker and doormat.
• If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating?
• What is the sound of no hands texting?
• If nobody likes your selfie, what is the value of the self?
• To see a man’s true face, look to the
photos he hasn’t posted.
A survey sent out to our contractors posed the question "What motivates you to come to work every day?" One guy answered, "Probation officer."
I bet cats have
a secret website where they
upload clips of cute humans
trying to open DVD packaging
The meek shall inherit the earth … if it’s okay with the rest of you.