Stick to One Serving

“I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.”—@sbellelauren

Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.

Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.

Q: How did Native Americans say vegetarian?

A: “Bad hunter!”

I have removed all the food from the house. It was delicious

My fitness coach told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said, “I don’t have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?” —@KerryKatona7

I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he’s trying to “Diet Hard.”

It’s hard to lose weight when you have an overactive knife and fork.