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So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
If you’re the sole survivor of the Apocalypse, go to your gym. There’ll be somebody at the locker right next to yours.
@bazecraze (Alex Baze)
I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.
“Pretend to be someone you’re
not, and receive candy.” Quick:
Red sky at night, shepherd’s
delight. Blue sky at night, day.
Humorist Tom Parry
I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
Watch The Walking Dead with someone who’s super into it so every time a zombie appears, you can pull the old, “Wait, who’s this, now?”
A touching tribute to a waitress, spotted outside a local restaurant: "RIP Sandy. We will miss you. Server needed."