Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two…alone. —"Laugh Yourself Healthy," by Charles Hunter
Become more interesting every week!
Get our Read Up newsletter
Thanks! You're on our list.
And your life's about to get more interesting.
Every time I start a diet I hear the Mission Impossible theme song in my head.
The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
Q: How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to stay in the dark!
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: He went back four seconds.
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
Q: What is the Native American word for vegetarian?
A: “Poor hunter!”