Lower Your Expectations
Have you heard the one about the bad pole-vaulter? It never goes over very well.
While I was working security at a football game, a fan spilled beer on a cheerleader's pop-poms. As a favor, I rinsed them off in the men's room. As I shook off the water, someone came out of a stall. Stunned, he announced, "That's the first time anyone's cheered me on while going to the bathroom."