I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
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Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Q. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1Forrest1
Want to hear something terrible?
See? I told you it was tear-able.
A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”