I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of high school. The importance of proofreading the results of my dictation was highlighted one day when a reminder to a client’s tenant to pay her rent or suffer eviction was transcribed as follows: "You are hereby notified that if payment is not received within five business days, I will have no choice but to commence execution proceedings."
Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
Q: What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!
Q: What do skeletons say before eating?
A: Bone Appetit!
Q: Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
A: He was caught drinking on the job!
Q: What is a vampire’s pet peeve?
A: A Tourniquet!
Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!