I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and—I can't remember what the third thing is.
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What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.—Fred Allen
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.—Jack Benny
“Don’t worry; I’ll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends.”
- Cargo Shorts
@DearAnyone (Artie Johann)
America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest celebrates purposely awful opening sentences to imaginary novels. Here are the “best” from the past year.
As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body… Read More