I turned to my father one night and said, "It’s amazing—50 years and you never once had an affair. How do you account for that?" He replied, "I can’t drive."
Hoping to lose some weight, my wife told me she wanted to get an exercise bicycle. I reminded her that she had a very nice and rather expensive bike in the garage. She explained that she wanted a stationary one.
"Your bicycle has been stationary," I remarked. "That's why you need to lose ten pounds."