What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.
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Nutrition question: How many Skittles equal one serving of fruit?
Things just aren’t going to work out between us. It’s not you, it’s me. You are tasteless, boring, and I can’t stop cheating on you.
Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?
She heard you could get thinner there.
I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
I’m on day 2 of a “diet” which means I’m always one minor annoyance away from eating every single person in my office.