What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.
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“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
Q: Why go to the paint store when you’re on a diet?
A: You can get thinner there.
Q: How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don’t know, but where do you get your protein!?
Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: He went back four seconds.