Q: Did you hear the one about the greedy peanut butter?
A: I'm not telling you. You might spread it.
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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Why did the Zen master refuse novocaine when he had his tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Q: What’s the worst part about movie theater candy prices?
A: They’re always raisinet.
The Yoko Club? Oh no.
The German Philosophy Club? I Kant.
The Compulsive-Rhymers Club? Okey-dokey.
The Codependence Club? Can I bring a friend?
The Procrastinators Club? Maybe next week.
I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
When she saw her first strands of gray, she thought she’d dye.
Q: Why did the chicken go to the
A: To get to the other side.
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don’t. You get down from a goose.