Q: Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A: He'll dessert you.
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“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
Every time I start a diet I hear the Mission Impossible theme song in my head.
My snack got lost in my purse, so I guess I’m on a diet now.—@msgweni
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
Q: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow?
A: One if nobody’s looking.