Q: Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A: He'll dessert you.
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Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
You have a Slim-Fast for breakfast, a Slim-Fast for lunch; then, you eat a “sensible dinner.” How sensible are you going to be after eating powder all day?
“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
My snack got lost in my purse, so I guess I’m on a diet now.—@msgweni
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
If you are what you eat … I need to eat a skinny person.
Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.
Q: When should you go on a cheese diet?
A: If you need to cheddar few pounds.