Jokes Section

Q. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? A. Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!

Did you hear the one about the little mountain? It’s hill-arious!

Q. What’s a banana peel’s favorite type of shoe? A. Slippers!

Q. What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed? A. Cookie sheets!

Q. What do you call an outlaw who steals gift wrapping from the rich to give to the poor? A. Ribbon Hood.

Q. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A. A pineapple! By Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.

Q. What did the big flower say to the little flower? A. Hi, bud!

Q. If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? A. Scholar ships.

Q. What did sick people do on the Mayflower? A. They went to the dock!

Q. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day? A. There’s Noel!

Q. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite track & field event? A. North Pole-vaulting!

Q: When do you serve tofu turkey? A: Pranksgiving.

Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted? A: Boy! I’m stuffed!

Q: Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”? A: Because they never learned good table manners!

Q: What key has legs and can’t open doors? A: A Turkey.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: It was the chicken’s day off!

Q: What do you call a running turkey? A: Fast food.

Q: Why does a pilgrim’s pants always fall down? A: Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? A: The turkey trot

Q: What did the turkey say to the computer? A: Google, google, google!

Q: What do you call the age of a pilgrim? A: Pilgrimage.

Q: What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain? A: Pil-grimace.

Q: What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? A: Pilgrammar.

Q: What was the turkey looking for at ToysRus? A: Gobbleheads.

Q: What was the turkey suspected of? A: Fowl play.

Q: What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? A: Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!

Q: What sound does a turkey’s phone make? A: Wing! Wing!

Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? A: Your nose.

Q: What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A: A Har-VEST.

Q: How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Pump kin!

Q: What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common? A: One has gobblers, the other goblins.

Q: What do you call a holiday dinner without the parents? A: Friendsgiving.

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? A: Pumpkin pi.

Q: What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? A: Squash

Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” Little Johnny wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

Knock Knock. Who There? Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving for what? Thanks giving us this turkey.

Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award? 

A. Because he was outstanding in his field. 

Q. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? 

A. There was nothing left but de Brie. 

Q. Our wedding was so beautiful … 

A. Even the cake was in tiers. 

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 

A. Frostbite