Jokes

Newest Jokes

Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!

Q: What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!

Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!

Q: What do skeletons say before eating?
A: Bone Appetit!

Q: Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
A: He was caught drinking on the job!

Q: What is a vampire’s pet peeve?
A: A Tourniquet!

Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!

Q: What do you call a man who lures women into his place and turns them into ghastly freaks?
A: A 1980’s hairdresser!

Q: What goes Ha-ha-ha-ha!, thud!!! and keeps laughing?
A: A monster laughing it’s head off!

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A necktarine!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Q: What kind of monster loves to disco?
A: The boogieman.

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.

Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
A: He was already stuffed.

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away the W.

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!