Wiener Wiener Q. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? A. Wow, I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me. …Share
Wheeee! Q. Which thrill ride does a wine glass love to go on the most? A. A coaster! (Credit: justbadpuns.com) …Share
Have You Really? Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.” …Share
All Up In Your Grill Q. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face? A. Too close for comfort food. …Share
Generation Gap Q. What do you call it when you have your mom’s mom on speed dial? A. Instagram. …Share
Time On My Side I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time. …Share
Tiebreaker Q. What should you do after your Nintendo game ends in a tie? A. Ask for a Wii-match! …Share
Birthday Cake Love Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake. …Share
Make a wish Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job. …Share
Whoops, No Present Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. …Share
Don’t Kiss! Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.” …Share
Pretty or Ugly Girlfriend: “Am I pretty or ugly?” Boyfriend: “You’re both.” Girlfriend: “What do you mean?” Boyfriend: “You’re pretty ugly.” …Share
Google it! Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. …Share
Keywords are Everywhere An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol …Share
Let It Slide Q. Why did the PowerPoint Presentation cross the road? A. To get to the other slide. …Share
Tweetment Needed PATIENT: Doctor, I need your help. I’m addicted to checking my Twitter! DOCTOR: I’m so sorry, I don’t follow. …Share
Big Spender I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn’t bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife. …Share
Innocent Customer That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”. …Share
Money Marriage A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.” …Share
Watch Exchange I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade”. …Share
Donate to Charity I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75. …Share
Just like Clooney You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney. …Share
