Jokes Section

Q. Why are fish so good at watching their weight? A. Because they have lots of scales!

Q. What did the leopard say after finishing a delicious meal? A. “That hit the spot!”

Q. A horse attached to a 24-foot chain sees an apple 26 feet away. How can the horse reach the apple? A. The horse just walks over to it, taking the chain with him—the chain isn’t attached to anything!

Q. I’m the size of an elephant, but I weigh nothing. What am I? A. An elephant’s shadow!

Q. What does a cat have that no other animal has? A. Kittens.

Q. I have a neck, but no head, and I wear a cap. What am I? A. A bottle!

Q: What kind of sports car does a cat drive? A: A Furrari.

Q: What do you call a cat that’s a beauty influencer? A: Glamourpuss.

Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants? A: Purrr-suasive.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? A: Santa Claws!

Q: What do you call a cat that gets caught by law enforcement? A: The purrpatrator.

Q: What’s every cat’s favorite color? A: Purrrrrrple!

Q: What does the narcissistic cat say as she looks in the mirror? A: I am pawsitively gorgeous.

Q: What did the cat say when he went bankrupt? A: I feel so paw!

Q: Why don’t cats like shopping online? A: They prefer a cat-alogues.

Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer? A: He was keeping an eye on the mouse!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? A: A sourpuss!

Q: What do cats wear at night? A: Paw-jamas.

Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? A: An octo-puss.

Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: She wanted to be a first-aid kit!

Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? A: None, because they were all a bunch of copycats.

Let minnow what you think.

You have cat to be kitten me right now.

Whale, whale, whale…look who was right again.  

Well, this is hawkward.

Get otter here!

That’s the sealiest thing I’ve ever heard!

I’m owl by myself.

You’re giraffing me crazy.

This is pandamonium!

I didn’t do it on porpoise.

Q. Why is an island like the letter T? A. They’re both in the middle of water!

Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.

Q. A man was driving a truck. His headlights weren’t on, and the moon wasn’t out. Ahead of him, a woman dressed in all black started crossing the road. Fortunately, the man braked so she could cross. How did he see her? A. It was the middle of the day!

Q. You can break me without touching me, or even seeing me. What am I? A. A promise

Q. When you want to use me, you throw me away. When you’re done using me, you bring me in. What am I? A. An anchor.

Q. How many seconds are there in a year? A. Twelve—January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…

Q. There is a house with four walls. All of the walls are facing south. A bear is circling the house. What color is the bear? A. White. If all walls of the house are facing south, the house must be on the North Pole, so the bear is a polar bear.

Q. Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig? A. Because it’ll hog the ball!

Q. What’s the first thing you should do if a bull charges you? A. Pay him!