One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.
Diet Jokes
Put the green juice down and stock up on these diet jokes and vegetarian puns.
Get a forkful of these funny diet jokes, vegan puns and vegetarian jokes that will lighten up about your hangry mood. For an extra helping of laughter, take a look at our weight loss jokes.
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Nothing to See Here
Q: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow?
A: One if nobody's looking.
Losing Everything but the Weight
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pen, cell phone, temper, and my mind.
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Taste the Rainbow
Nutrition question: How many Skittles equal one serving of fruit?
Apocalyptic
Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
A: GggRrrAaaIiiNnSsss!
A serious medical condition
It's hard to lose weight when you have an overactive knife and fork.
Fondue for You
Q: When should you go on a cheese diet?
A: If you need to cheddar few pounds.
I’ll Take Two
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
Time to Eat
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: He went back four seconds.
You Are What You Eat
D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?
No Animal Testing
Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
A: It hasn't been tested on mice.
Read the Label
Q: How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
It’s Gluten-y Good
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
Caveman Diet
Q: How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to stay in the dark!
I Have No Beef With You
Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!
Now Minerals Feel Left Out
I'm not vegetarian because I love animals. I'm vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
Can’t Catch a Break
Q: What is the Native American word for vegetarian?
A: "Poor hunter!"
You Can’t Forget That Face
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I've never met herbivore.
Protein Plus
Q: How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, but where do you get your protein!?
File This Under Second Thoughts
“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
