Funny Stories

These funny stories will have you laughing for days.

See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family.

Shallow Sunday School

While my granddaughters Sunday School class was swimming in my pool, the teacher was putting up the rope to divide the shallow end from the deep end. My granddaughter said...

Parenting in Court

My friend is a court reporter, and recently she heard this: ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which....

First Impression

When my baby granddaughter LeeAnn came home from the hospital, the aunts, uncles and cousins were there to greet her. I showed her cousin Alex the baby and told him,...

Hop and Bothered

I was walking along a back road when two bunnies suddenly leapt into the air and landed one on top of the other. To my astonishment, I saw that one...

Creative Reading

My 21/2-year-old grandson, 
Sam, brought a coloring book 
to me and said, “Read it.” I proceeded to make up
words to go with each page. When I finished “reading,” Sam said,...

My Baking Blunder

A group of our friends from church were planning a picnic, and it sounded like fun. The only problem was that times had been a bit tight for me, as...

Where Milk Comes From

When I told my son where milk comes from, he asked, “Mama, how 
do the cows sit on those little bottles?”

Sunday Best

On Easter one year, I got to see my 5-year-old granddaughter, Julia. I wore my best suit for 
the holiday. Julia said, “Grandpa, you look so handsome today. Did you...

Saving Grace

My niece made some food for another family at church. She prayed over it, asking the kids 
if they’d like to add anything. Her 3-year-old daughter, Boston, said, “Thank you,...

Panicked Preacher

In the late ’50s I was ­working construction, leveling the corner of a house that we had jacked about 4 inches above the ground. One of the jacks slipped and...

Practice Makes Perfect

A little girl climbed up onto her grandfather’s lap and asked, “Did God make me?” “Yes,” the grandpa replied. “Did he make you, too?” “Yes.” “Well,” the girl said, looking...

Gone Fishing

My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. “No,” she said....

Following Directions

A young man was planting some flower seeds on a sweltering day, sweating from the hot sun. His neighbor said, “You need to wait until the sun goes down, or...

Chicken Farmer’s Folly

My daughter Pam sent me 
this message: “Things never 
to do list. Go grocery shopping and forget you put eggs in your hoodie pocket after collecting them from the chickens,...

My Undersized Load

Shortly after we moved to rural South Carolina, we found out Clemson Ag Extension was selling all sorts of berry and fruit trees at great rates. We needed quite a...

Prayer Request

After dinner one night, I asked my son Jimmy to fetch a broom from the back porch so I could sweep the floor. Complaining, 
he said, “But it’s dark out...

Planting Wisdom

When weeding your garden, there’s an easy way to tell the difference between a weed and a vegetable or flower. Pull on it, and if it doesn’t come up, it’s...

Tater-Totter

While passing by a park, my son Zach 
shouted, “Look, Mom! A tater-totter!”

Front of the Line

I was waiting in a long security line at the airport in Orlando, Florida. People were fussing, moaning and groaning. I heard a mom say to her son, “It won’t...

An Uphill Battle

While carrying 3-year-old Matthew up the stairs, I told him, “Just think, when you get older you can carry me up the stairs.” He thought about this and then, with...

Adventures in Sewing 

My 3-year-old grandson, Cruise, has always been impressed with Grandpa’s mighty machines, which include a tractor, an ATV and a snowmobile. One day his mom said to him, “Let’s go...

How They Met

Girl on skates. The ice was thin. Then it broke and she fell right in. Boy on bank heard her shout. Jumped right in and helped her out. Now they’re...

The Answer to Her Prayers

When my granddaughter Keilei was 8, she asked me, “Grandma, does God answer prayers?” “Yes, he does,” I replied. Then she asked, “Will he give you whatever you ask for?”...

Furry Foolery

My dog, Shadow, is smart as a whip, but she sheds like crazy. One day Shadow brought me a tuft of her black fur. I thought, I wonder where she found...

Nana Has a lot of Bibles

My nephew asked, “Why does Nana have so many Bibles?” I said, “She’s studying for finals.”

A Hairy Situation

Joe always went to his local barber for a monthly shave and haircut. But one day the barber was ill. So the barber’s wife, Grace, took over. Joe noticed over...

Get This Party Started

The fourth birthday of my 3-year-old daughter, Amanda, was approaching. I reminded her that the day was on its way. After a couple of weeks, Amanda became exasperated, stomped her...

Take the Floor

One day, my 4-year-old grandson, Maverick, was playing on the floor and asked me to come sit and play with him. I told him to give me a minute because...

Around the World

My 2-year-old niece, Sienna, lives in Asia. While her family was visiting Grandma and Grandpa in Florida, she asked her mother if she could play with Play-doh. Her mother said...

Old Trick, New Dog

In my youth, I delivered the Coeur d’Alene Press in a rural area. Back in the ’50s, there were no leash laws in Idaho, and many dogs were on the...

Grandpa’s Helper

My 6-year-old grandson, William, loves trains. One day I was asking him the names of different parts of an old steam engine. He told me, “That’s a cowcatcher,” and I...

Princess Calves

I took our 4-year-old granddaughter, Halle, to the corral on pregnancy testing day to watch as the veterinarian did ultrasounds on our cows. After a positive test, the vet shouted...

Fresh From the Farm

The first time my husband and I took our 3-year-old son to visit his grandma in Arkansas, he went with her to gather eggs. The next morning, he watched her...

Birthday Surprise

My granddaughter was discussing the expected arrival of a new brother for her 4-year-old son, Matthew. She told Matthew that you can’t predict the exact date of birth. “You were...

Rejected Recipe

We were sitting at the table for a meal and my wife and sister were discussing recipes. When a dump cake was suggested, my 4-year-old daughter, Hannah, announced, “Yuck! That...

Mechanical Kid

When my grandson, Jimmy, was 4 or 5, we asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. “I want to be a machine,” he said without hesitation....

Galaxy Fixer-Upper

One night when my son Patrick was 2 years old, he looked up at a half moon and said, “Moon broken.” The next time there was  a full moon in...

Well-Done Woes

Several years ago, our grandson Andrew slept at our house overnight. For breakfast I made pancakes, and I gave him one that was browner than the others. He told me...

Stay-at-Home Kid

One day when my son David was 5 years old, he informed me that he no longer wanted to go to day care because the other kids were all babies....

Growing Up Gradually

My great-granddaughter Brylee was playing horse with her pappy one night. As she was sitting on his back, he asked her how old she was. Brylee said, “Pappy, you know...

Just Roll With It

When my daughter Mandy was 31/2, we went to visit my grandma in the nursing home. Mandy was trying to talk to a wheelchair-bound resident but was getting little response...

Which Little Piggy?

Recently my wife and I were watching our grandsons, ages 3 and 4. The older boy, Owen, fell while he was playing and said, “I hurt my toe.” When I...

The Backboard Blues

I was teaching my 3-year-old granddaughter, Taylor, how to shoot baskets on her child-sized basketball hoop. After missing three shots in a row, she gave me the ball and said,...

Grandma Knows Best

When our son was young, his grandma joked about the Sandman and how he put kids to sleep by sprinkling “sleepy sand” in their eyes. Later that day I found...

Musical Mayhem

When my grandson Gavin was 4 years old, he loved to “play” the piano. Once, when he was done, we forgot to close the lid to the keys. As we...

Dance Lesson

Some time ago, my daughter Nori was writing an essay she called, “It Takes Two to Tangle.” I tried explaining to her that the saying is actually about the tango,...

A Fishing Fiasco

My son Ryan was 2 years old when his daddy took him out to the little trout pond we built in our backyard. His dad spent a few minutes showing...

Fence Sitting

Living on a farm all his life, my dad was used to climbing over fences. The quickest way was to place both hands on the top rail and bound over...

Backseat Driver

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed and lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus and drove...

A Ribbiting Story

When I was teaching kindergarten and had a cold, I would often get laryngitis with it. One day a student asked me, “Do you have a frog in your nose?”

Farm Language

Marrying into an established farm family has provided quite the education. I anticipated the long hours. I anticipated the hard work. I even anticipated the laundry room piled with mountains...

My Hurry-up Hairdo

Getting two young children and myself dressed and ready for church was challenging. As we rushed out the door, I knew it was going to be a close call getting...

Critter Commotion

As I was driving the other day, I saw a sign on a business that read “Whistlepig Alley Antiques.” It reminded me of an event that happened many years ago...

Coming Soon

Mom and Dad told Julia, our granddaughter, that she was going to have a baby sister or brother. “It’s a secret and we don’t tell secrets,” they said. In Sunday...

One Day at a Time

While our great-granddaughters were getting ready for bed on Christmas Eve, Molly had a loose tooth that she wanted to pull. Addison said, “Don’t you dare pull that tooth out...

Not So Hot Lunch

My grandson picked up his son, Graham, after work and asked him what he had for lunch.

Graham said, “Cold.” Turns out, they had chili.

Circus Comes to Church

When my son, William, was young, we belonged to a small country church. On Communion day, deacons would pass around the “bread and juice.” One Sunday, we attended a church...

Good Grooming

Pollen and allergies got the best of Liam, my 9-year-old son, so he stayed home from school with his grandma. When I got home from work, he said he had...

Catch Me If You Can

Several years ago we headed to a nearby town to visit some relatives. I had a new car and was having fun driving fast on the twisty country roads. As...

Pack a Lunch

While walking along a trail, 
my 7-year-old grandson, Ryan, commented, “There’s a fork in the road back there.” “Really?” I asked, imagining someone’s missing silverware. But then a thought occurred...

A Crunchy Canine?

My 7-year-old, Ethan, was excited about his turn for show-and-tell coming up. He asked if he could bring our dog. Ethan has a classmate who has severe allergies to nuts,...

Playground Rules

Last year my youngest granddaughter, Samantha Grace, started kindergarten. After a few days, she came home and said, “Grandpa, I learned the slide rule today.” I was happy to hear...

Talk About Drained

After a long Thanksgiving Day of eating and playing, my 3-year-old granddaughter asked her mother to carry her. When I asked if her legs were broken, Aislin said, “Yes, they’re...

Don’t Squish the Squash!

One fall day my daughter, Mia, and her boys were walking in the garden so she could show them the autumn harvest. Making sure they looked where they were stepping,...

A Thorny Subject

Our 8-year-old granddaughter Raven,  a city girl, asked to help me cook. “Get some potatoes out of that red basket,” I said. The potatoes were starting to sprout but were still...

Quill Question

A grandpa told his grandson that ballpoint pens hadn’t yet been invented when he was a boy. “Was that back when they used feathers?” the child asked.

Agriculture Class

My sister is a teacher in our rural district. During afternoon class, she had a flyswatter hanging out of her back pocket. One of her students said “she looked like...

Learning About Letters

“I would like vitamins for my son,” a mother said. “Vitamin  A, B or C?” the pharmacist asked. “It doesn’t matter,” the mother replied. “He can’t read yet.”

Not for Sale

My wife noticed an interesting home advertised in the local paper and decided to visit the open house. Upon arrival she thought it strange that there was no “for sale” sign,...

Caller ID

A couple was expecting a baby. On the way to the hospital, the parents-to-be realized they were not going to make it in time, so the man called 911 for...

Golden Years

At his birthday party, my grandson said, “I love you,” and I replied, “I love you, too.” Then he said, “I wish you were 5 years old like me so...

Another Man’s Treasure

Asked by the teacher to give the definition of a yard sale, my niece Melissa, then 14, said, “It’s stuff you sell to neighbors and friends because they don’t have...

Breakfast Buffet

When we saw a mare nursing her colt, my daughter Jennifer asked me what the horse was doing. I explained that the mare was giving the colt some milk. After...