A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

Halloween Jokes for Kids

There’s no trick here! Share our funny Halloween jokes and Halloween puns for a neighborhood laugh.

These Halloween jokes are the real treat. Read up on our Halloween jokes for kids that will appeal to little monsters of all ages.

The Dumb Skeleton

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school? A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Dancing Monsters

Q: What kind of monster loves to disco? A: The boogieman.

Obese Pumpkin

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin? A: A plumpkin.

Dieting Scarecrow

Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? A: He was already stuffed.

Honest Ghosts

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying? A: Because you can see right through them!

Superstitious Rodent

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat? A: When you’re a mouse.

Witch’s Spell

Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away the W.

Vampire Love

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A: It’s a pain in the neck.

A Demon’s BFF

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Disappointed Ghost

Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

Dracula’s Renovations

Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A: A grave problem.

Sated Vampire

Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

The Weather Outside is Frightful

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? A: Frostbite

Congested Ghost

Q: What is in a ghost’s nose? A: Boo-gers

Busy Mummy

Q: Why don’t mummies take time off? A: They’re afraid to unwind.

Gargling Vampire

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A: Because he had bat breath.

The Witch’s Garage

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage? A: A broom closet.

The Least Popular Product In the World

Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A: A coffin.

Ghost on R&R

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation? A: Mali-boo.

Curvy Spirit

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets? A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Workaholic Horseman

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business? A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Intellectual Vampire

Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times? A: He heard it had great circulation.

Drunk Ghost

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar? A: For the Boos.

Ahoy, Dracula!

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels

Skinny Skeletons

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

The Cowardly Pumpkin

Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? He had no guts.