Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.
Halloween Jokes for Kids
There’s no trick here! Share our funny Halloween jokes and Halloween puns for a neighborhood laugh.
These Halloween jokes are the real treat. Read up on our Halloween jokes for kids that will appeal to little monsters of all ages.
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Dancing Monsters
Q: What kind of monster loves to disco?
A: The boogieman.
Obese Pumpkin
Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.
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Dieting Scarecrow
Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
A: He was already stuffed.
Honest Ghosts
Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!
Superstitious Rodent
Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.
Witch’s Spell
Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away the W.
Vampire Love
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.
A Demon’s BFF
Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Disappointed Ghost
Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Dracula’s Renovations
Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A: A grave problem.
Sated Vampire
Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
The Weather Outside is Frightful
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite
Congested Ghost
Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?
A: Boo-gers
Busy Mummy
Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?
A: They’re afraid to unwind.
Gargling Vampire
Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.
The Witch’s Garage
Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.
The Least Popular Product In the World
Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A: A coffin.
Ghost on R&R
Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.
Curvy Spirit
Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Workaholic Horseman
Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.
Intellectual Vampire
Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
A: He heard it had great circulation.
Drunk Ghost
Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A: For the Boos.
Ahoy, Dracula!
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels
Skinny Skeletons
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
The Cowardly Pumpkin
Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?
He had no guts.
