Q: What was the turkey suspected of? A: Fowl play.

Q: What's the best way to stuff a turkey? A: Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!

Q: What sound does a turkey's phone make? A: Wing! Wing!

Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? A: Your nose.

Q: What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A: A Har-VEST.

Q: How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Pump kin!

Q: What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common? A: One has gobblers, the other goblins.

Q: What do you call a holiday dinner without the parents? A: Friendsgiving.

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? A: Pumpkin pi.

Q: What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? A: Squash

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

Knock Knock. Who There? Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving for what? Thanks giving us this turkey.

Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award? A. Because he was outstanding in his field.

Q. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? A. There was nothing left but de Brie.

Q. Our wedding was so beautiful ... A. Even the cake was in tiers.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite

Q. I hate jokes about German sausages. A. They're the wurst.

Q. Dad, can you put my shoes on? A. I don't think they'll fit me.

Q. Is this pool safe for diving? A. It deep ends.

Q. Can February March? A. No, but April May

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck.

Q. I'm reading a book on the history of glue. A. I just can't seem to put it down.

Q. If prisoners could take their own mugshots what would they be called? A. CELLphies

Q. How do vampires start their letters? A. "Tomb it may concern..."

Q. What's a writing utensil's favorite place to go on vacation? A. Pencil-vania!

Q. How does the Man in the Moon cut his hair? A. Eclipse it!

Q. Where do polar bears keep their money? A. In a snow bank!

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens didn't exist yet!

Q. Why was the broom late for school? A. It overswept!

Q. What do you call a duck that loves making jokes? A. A wise-quacker!

Q. What did the finger say to the thumb? A. I'm in glove with you!

Q. What did one pickle say to the other pickle who wouldn't stop complaining? A. "Dill with it."

Q. What's really fast, loud, and tastes good with salsa? A. A rocket chip!

Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: Because they're always stuffed.

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? A: You look flushed.

Q: What's the best time to go to the dentist? A: Tooth hurty.

Q: Where do beef burgers go to dance? A: The meatball.

Q: Which side of a duck has the most feathers? A: The outside.

Q: Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? A: The old Volks home.

Q: What do a dog and a phone have in common? A: They both have collar ID.

Q: What did the red light say to the green light? A: Don't look, I'm changing.

Q: What do you call a T-Rex that's been beaten up? A: Dino-sore.

Q: What did the axe murderer say to the judge? A: It was an axe-ident.

Q: How much does a Mustang cost? A: More than you can af-Ford.

Q: What did the policeman say to his belly button? A: You're under a vest.

Q: What do you call someone who plays tricks on Halloween? A: Prankenstein.

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it'd be a foot.

Q: What do you call a baby monkey? A: A chimp off the old block.

Q: Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant? A: He was really good at bacon.

Q: What do you call anxious dinosaurs? A: Nervous Rex.

Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician? A: Pick a cod, any cod.

Q: What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? A: The space bar.

Q: Why did the poor man sell yeast? A: To raise some dough.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wire. Wire who? Wire you always asking ‘who’s there’?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Abe. Abe who? Abe CDEFJH...

Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Ken Ken who? Ken I come in? It's cold out here.

Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you will give me some Halloween candy?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Eysore Eysore who? Eysore do love you!  

Knock, knock Who’s there? Leaf Leaf Who? Leaf Me Alone!

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, here I come!

Knock, Knock Who’s there? Cargo! Cargo who? Car go beep, beep!

Knock, knock Who’s there? Amarillo Amarillo who? Amarillo nice guy!

Knock, knock Who’s there? Nun Nun who? Nun of your business!

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

Q: What did the gym coach say to the cat? A: Have you paid your annual fleas?

Q. I weigh nothing, but you can still see me. If you put me in a bucket, I make the bucket lighter. What am I? A. A hole! Source: Brainzilla

Q. I am a word that begins with the letter I. If you add the letter A to me, I become a new word with a different meaning, but that sounds exactly the same. What word am I? A. Isle (add A to make "Aisle")

Q. A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room. The first room is ablaze with fire. The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters. The third contains a pair of lions who haven't eaten in years. Which room should he choose to survive? A. The third room—any lions who hadn't eaten in years would be dead! Source: Twenty Two Words

Q. How do dog catchers get paid? A. By the pound!

Q. A man is washing windows on the 25th floor of an apartment building. Suddenly, he slips and falls. He has nothing to cushion his fall, and no safety equipment—but he doesn't get hurt. How is this possible? A. He's washing windows inside the building. Source: Twenty Two Words