Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Bad Puns
Groan out loud with these bad jokes and puns!
Everyone loves a bad pun. But what is a pun? A good definition of a pun is a play on words, where a jokester mixes up two words that are similar but have different meanings. Here are some really bad puns and pun examples that make everyone groan.
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Driving Stick
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.
Shopping Centers Are All So Similar
The thing I don’t like about shopping centers…
When you see one, you’ve seen a mall.
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Donut Factory
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? – She was fed up with the hole business.
Why Did the Gym Close?
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
“Come on, I’m a Fungi.”
Q. How much room should you give fungi to grow?
A. As mushroom as possible.
I Have an Okay Ceiling
My ceiling isn’t the best… But it’s up there!!!
Trees on the Internet
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
Embarrassed Tomato
Why did the tomato blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing.
I Ate a Watch
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
Escar-DONT-go
Q: Why do French people eat snails?
A: Because they won't touch fast food.
Storytelling Cats
Why are cats bad storytellers? – Because they only have one tale.
Cleaning the Spice Rack
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. – What a waste of thyme.
When Life Gives You Melons…
Q: What do you do when life gives you melons?
A: See a doctor, because you’re probably dyslexic.
Chinese Vandalism
Did you hear the news about that Chinese restaurant that got vandalized? It was an act of wonton destruction.
Best Time of the Day
6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.
Lost Luggage
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Buried Alive
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
Running With the Cars
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
The Death of Boiling Water
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
Zen Master Visits the Dentist
Why did the Zen master refuse novocaine when he had his tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Sticks Float
Sticks float. They would.
Eskimos in a Kayak
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank — proving once and for all that you can’t have your...
You Can Eat Anything, Except the Smoked Salmon
In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything, that is except the smoked salmon. Thus were created the world’s...
Camouflage Trousers
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Cannibals and Clowns
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Paper Factory Life
I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold.
I Meant Well
Last week I called someone a watering hole but I meant well.
