Bad Puns

Groan out loud with these bad jokes and puns!

Everyone loves a bad pun. But what is a pun? A good definition of a pun is a play on words, where a jokester mixes up two words that are similar but have different meanings. Here are some really bad puns and pun examples that make everyone groan.

Can You MOOOoove?

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.

Driving Stick

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.

Shopping Centers Are All So Similar

The thing I don’t like about shopping centers… When you see one, you’ve seen a mall.

Donut Factory

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? – She was fed up with the hole business.

Why Did the Gym Close?

Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.

“Come on, I’m a Fungi.”

Q. How much room should you give fungi to grow? A. As mushroom as possible.

I Have an Okay Ceiling

My ceiling isn’t the best… But it’s up there!!!

Trees on the Internet

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

Embarrassed Tomato

Why did the tomato blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing.

I Ate a Watch

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Escar-DONT-go

Q: Why do French people eat snails? A: Because they won't touch fast food.

Storytelling Cats

Why are cats bad storytellers? – Because they only have one tale.

Cleaning the Spice Rack

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. – What a waste of thyme.

When Life Gives You Melons…

Q: What do you do when life gives you melons? A: See a doctor, because you’re probably dyslexic.

Chinese Vandalism

Did you hear the news about that Chinese restaurant that got vandalized? It was an act of wonton destruction.

Best Time of the Day

6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.

Lost Luggage

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

Buried Alive

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.

Running With the Cars

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

The Death of Boiling Water

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

Zen Master Visits the Dentist

Why did the Zen master refuse novocaine when he had his tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Sticks Float

Sticks float. They would.

Eskimos in a Kayak

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank — proving once and for all that you can’t have your...

You Can Eat Anything, Except the Smoked Salmon

In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything, that is except the smoked salmon. Thus were created the world’s...

Camouflage Trousers

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

Cannibals and Clowns

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Paper Factory Life

I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold.

I Meant Well

Last week I called someone a watering hole but I meant well.