12 of the Funniest Letters from Summer Camp
"Dear Mom, how do you spell diyareeya?" Read on for the funniest missives from happy—and not so happy—campers.
You can really feel the ~love~
“Dear Mom, I was forced to write this to eat. Love, Josh.”
Josh’s summer camp required all campers to write a letter home after their first week. We’re sure the intention was good—gotta reassure mom and dad, right?—but in reality, it was the one thing standing between dinner and a hungry camper.
He even censored it himself
“The food is good most of the time. We were at our evening activity one night when we came back to our bathroom with one toilet clogged with a huge s***. Some kid then put 10 pieces of cheese on different parts of the toilet. Love, Jared.”
This was the first and only letter Jared’s cousin received from the young camper the entire summer. So few words and yet it tells a very vivid story! Now might be a good time to review the 13 things your kid’s camp counselor won’t tell you.
This kid speaks cat
“Dear Willow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. Love, Jackson.”
It’s not just parents that miss their kids, so every time Jackson wrote a letter home to his parents, he thoughtfully included a note for his beloved kitty. No word on if Willow ever wrote back.
Someone is not a happy camper
“I am going to murder you guys when I get home. Well, [just] you mom because you did this to me. We had to take a stupid swim test. I know you said I will love it but I will never, it is terrible. Luv ya and please ask me next time so you so you don’t waste 700 dollars on me.”
Future CIA agent, perhaps?
“SECRET MESSAGE. I love and miss you. I hate the woods! Camp is cool. Try to find the secret message.”
This kid’s note home from camp may seem all happy and fun, but he slyly included a “secret” message for his mom by circling the words “I” “hate” “camp.”
Hmm…Wonder why the camp counselor is so helpful?
“Mom. I am going to give very specific directions so pay attention. Everyone’s moms are sneaking them in candy through their packages so can you please send me lots of candy but hide it in the box. My counselor is even helping the kids sneak it in, but chocolate will melt. Thanks. Love you, Caylee.”
Caylee’s letter home shows she has her priorities straight when it comes to camping: fitting in and getting lots of candy. Hopefully, her mom thought of a good package to sneak her favorite treats in (not underwear!). Want to send a package of your own? Start with these 11 awesome ideas for care packages.
Wait, you do WHAT?
“Hi mom and dad! So far camp has been good! One of my new friends is from Florida. We both like sports and food. Mornings here start at 8 a.m. and the first thing I did after breakfast was poop. At night, just before light’s out we touch each other. Bye for now! PS Send money and candy!”
This little guy’s camp helpfully provided a card so all campers have to do is fill in the blanks. Unfortunately, his postcard home probably made his parents more concerned than relieved. At least he’s not constipated?
Was this drama camp?
“Dear Dad, I miss you alot!!! I was wondering if I could come home. Please, please, I am crying. We will talk. Please call before Thursday. Daddy please call. If you don’t call I will call you in Chautauqua. Dad, I REALLY will! Please just call. Its [sic] miserable. There are nats mosquitoes biting me. I love you like heck! I miss you like hell! PS. Call me please! Your loving child, Jordan.”
Jordan really lays on the guilt in her letter home from overnight camp as she begs her dad to rethink his decision. Although, we have to ask—What kid can spell “Chautauqua” correctly but misses “gnat”?
Didn’t even sign his name
“Dear Maia, today I had to write other people who wrote me. It was a pain the a**.”
Maia probably thought she was doing a nice thing when she wrote her little brother a note at camp. Little did she know he’d see it—and the letter he had to write back—as a punishment. Don’t miss these outrageous camps that actually exist.
This kid is having the time of his life
“Dear Mom, Good you packt [sic] extra underwear since I had diyareeya [sic]. It got on my shoes but not my pillow. I’m having fun at camp and learning stuff. […] I’ve ate more push-pops than anyone. I’ve ate 23 since Monday and there’s still two days left. […] Did you know you can light farts on fire? I’ll show you on Satterday [sic]. Tell my brothers to have lots of farts for Satterday [sic]. Love, W”
W’s mom might be a little bit nervous to pick him up from summer camp (the diarrhea and the fire farts can’t be a good combo!) but his letter makes it clear that he is loving summer camp and learning all kinds of new skills (including digging for worms with his toothbrush.) Here’s the whole letter.
That went dark…
“Dear Jessica, I am having a great time at camp. Today we went for a walk up to the fort that was on Magi island. On the track we saw 5 koalas, 2 babies and 3 big ones. We have to do everything, cook food, clean up, no lollies and we are locked up like prisoners.”
We imagine Jessica was pretty excited to get this postcard from her little brother at camp. It starts out well—Koala babies! Hikes!—but veers from “great” to “prison camp” in two sentences. Read on for the funniest family vacation stories that everyone can sadly relate to.
This kid is getting an early start on his jokes
“Hey Mom! I love you! I finally figured out why the girls all hang out in odd number groups. It’s because they can’t even.”
This entire letter home from summer camp is one epic pun.
Next summer, instead of sending your kid to camp, consider taking one of these family vacations the whole family will love.