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20 Funny Dad Quotes to Use This Father’s Day

These funny Father's Day quotes are sure to bring joy to you and your dad.

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Picking a day to celebrate dad wasn’t a straightforward journey, as the history of Father’s Day shows. But June 20, 2021, is the day set aside to show your father how much you appreciate him with a thoughtful present from our Father’s Day gift guide, or a sweet Father’s Day card. Of course, it can be hard to figure out what to write in a Father’s Day card. Take inspiration from some moving Father’s Day quotes, or get your dad chuckling with these hilarious quotes from your favorite dad comedians. When does a joke become a dad joke? As soon as it becomes apparent.

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“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” —JERRY SEINFELDrd.com

Jerry Seinfeld

“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” —Jerry Seinfeld

RELATED: Dad Quotes

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“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” —DAVE ATTELLrd.com

Dave Attell

“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” —Dave Attell

RELATED: 30 Best Books About Dads to Read for Father’s Day

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"I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother." ——RITA RUDNERrd.com

Rita Rudner

“I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.” —Rita Rudner

RELATED: Father-Daughter Quotes

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"My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic." —BOB ODENKIRKrd.com

Bob Odenkirk

“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” —Bob Odenkirk

RELATED: Father’s Day crafts

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"Even though I'm proud my dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear." —STEWART FRANCISrd.com

Stewart Francis

“Even though I’m proud my dad invented the rear-view mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.” —Stewart Francis

RELATED: Father-Son Quotes

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"Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business." —JIMMY FALLONrd.com

Jimmy Fallon

“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.” —Jimmy Fallon

RELATED: Dad jokes

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"Me and my dad used to play tag. He'd drive." —Rodney Dangerfieldrd.com

Rodney Dangerfield

“Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.” —Rodney Dangerfield

RELATED: Father’s Day movies

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“We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.’” —ERMA BOMBECKrd.com

Erma Bombeck

“We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.'” —Erma Bumbeck

RELATED: Father’s Day Quotes for Husbands

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"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children." —CLARENCE DARROWrd.com

Clarence Darrow

“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.” —Clarence Darrow

RELATED: Funny Father’s Day Memes

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Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions. Four-year-old: Why? —JAMES BREAKWELLrd.com

James Breakwell

“Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions. Four-year-old: Why?” —James Breakwell

RELATED: 50 Funny Parent Tweets That Perfectly Nail the Highs and Lows of Parenting

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"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." —MARK TWAINrd.com

Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” —Mark Twain

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"Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets." —JOHN KINNEARrd.com

John Kinnear

“Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets.” —John Kinnear

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 "Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch." —JON STEWARTrd.com

Jon Stewart

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” —Jon Stewart

RELATED: Great Father’s Day Gifts From Sons

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"Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really." —DAVE BARRY

Dave Barry

“Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.” —Dave Barry

RELATED: 25 Fabulous Last-Minute Father’s Day Gift Ideas He’ll Never Know You Ordered Late

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“I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I'd say, ‘Yeah? When?’” —BILL HICKSrd.com

Bill Hicks

“I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say, ‘Yeah? When?’” —Bill Hicks

RELATED: 30 Budget-Friendly Gifts for Dad Under $30 He’ll Love

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“Men should always change diapers. It’s a very rewarding experience. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.” —CHRIS MARTINrd.com

Chris Martin

“Men should always change diapers. It’s a very rewarding experience. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.” —Chris Martin

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“I want my son to wear a helmet 24 hours a day. If it was socially acceptable, I’d be the first one to have my kid in a full helmet and like a cage across his face mask.” -WILL ARNETTrd.com

Will Arnett

“I want my son to wear a helmet 24 hours a day. If it was socially acceptable, I’d be the first one to have my kid in a full helmet and like a cage across his face mask.” —Will Arnett

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"When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'" —JERRY LEWISrd.com

Jerry Lewis

“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'” —Jerry Lewis

RELATED: Stepdad Quotes

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“Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.” —RAY ROMANOrd.com

Ray Romano

“Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano

RELATED: 30 Funny Father’s Day Gifts You Can Get Delivered

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"Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks." —JIM GAFFIGANrd.com

Jim Gaffigan

“Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.” —Jim Gaffigan

Next, check out these Father’s Day activities for bonding time with dad. And don’t forget to browse these Father’s Day gifts for Grandpa!

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