Group texts can be useful—or total chaos. Here's how to stop annoying everyone in your chat with some simple etiquette rules.
14 Group Texting Etiquette Rules Everyone Should Follow
Updated on May 23, 2025
Don’t add people without asking
The first rule of group texting? Know who to include and who not to include. If you’re not totally sure someone would like being in a group text, ask them first. “Check in to see if everyone in the group actually wants to be there,” Robins says. Surprise group texts are the texting version of “this could’ve been an email.”
What to do instead: Ask before adding. It’s respectful and keeps the thread relevant. You don’t have to ask every person every time, but do make a mental note of who likes group chats and who doesn’t.
Keep it to one text
“Few things are more maddening and improper than receiving five alerts for what could’ve been one clean message,” Frieman says.”That’s not communication. That’s harassment by notification.” Break up your thoughts in real life, not in the group chat.
What to do instead: Proper group text etiquette calls for you to stick to one or two sentences and keep it all in a single text. One text equals one alert, which means one less person plotting your demise.
Acknowledge messages
Group text etiquette applies to the receivers as well. “If someone checks in with the group, let them know you’ve seen it,” Robins advises. Even a 👍 or ❤️ reaction does the trick. That’s what those reaction emojis are for.
What to do instead: Don’t leave people in limbo. A quick response or emoji tells them they’re not talking into the void.
Get to the point
Don’t make people play detective to figure out what you’re saying—skip the rambling buildup and lead with the point. “Texting can be fun, but it can also become a word salad of confusion,” Frieman says. “People are too busy to play clue detector, and if they’re confused, they won’t read on.”
What to do instead: Start with the key info (“We’re meeting at 6”), and save the backstory for later—if anyone asks.
Know your audience
Group texts aren’t open-mic night, especially with professional contacts. Texting tone is like vocal tone: “Your personality will shine through only if your audience is familiar with it,” Frieman says.
What to do instead: If you’re not sure how your tone will land, keep it clear and respectful. Save the dad jokes and sarcasm for the group that already knows you’re kidding.
Respect people’s time (and sleep)
The best ideas come in the middle of the night, it’s true. But that doesn’t mean you should share them then. And while you should be putting your phone on sleep mode or, even better, storing it in a different room at bedtime, lots of people sleep with their phones nearby. “No one wants a ping at 2 a.m.,” Robins says.
What to do instead: Use the “schedule send” feature, or write the text and save it as a “draft,” then make a note to message in the morning. Everyone gets a good night’s rest—and nobody has a panic attack when a loud ping comes through in the middle of the night.
Keep it calm and polite
Digital arguments have real-world repercussions, and that’s even more true with group texting. “Some people grow 10 feet tall when they’re behind a screen,” Frieman says. Plus, he adds, “deleting a message does not make it disappear. Screenshots exist. Receipts are kept.”
What to do instead: If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it in a group chat. Take a breath, then decide if it really needs to be said—or just vent to your Notes app like the rest of us.
Be responsive but chill
The beauty of texting is that it is asynchronous, meaning that it doesn’t have to happen in real time. Many of us are accustomed to immediate responses, but good etiquette says that you give people time to reply. “Most group texts don’t need immediate replies,” Robins says. Plus, responding too quickly can make you miss information or make you look overzealous.
What to do instead: Don’t expect people to respond right away, and don’t feel pressured to answer every group text immediately. Follow the 24-hour rule for nonurgent texts, or two hours for a more urgent text.
Keep the group small
Massive group chats turn into chaos fast, especially if half the people don’t even know why they’re there. So think of what the necessary minimum is—not the max amount of contacts your phone will allow you to add. “When I’m dropped into a group chat with 23 people to plan a tailgate, I instantly hit ‘Hide Alerts,'” Frieman says.
What to do instead: Include only the people who actually need to be involved. When in doubt, start smaller. You can always add (rather than awkwardly remove) people later.
Use GIFs judiciously
“I love a good emoji or GIF,” Frieman says. “Used well, they can make someone laugh out loud and lighten the mood.” But if your only role in the conversation is sending nonstop animated nonsense, it’s not funny—it’s exhausting.
What to do instead: Use GIFs to enhance the conversation, not derail it. And keep it to one or two per conversation thread.
Keep side conversations out
Everyone has been on a group text that suddenly got awkward, like when two of the participants start talking about their hookup—in front of everyone. “If something personal or emotional comes up, or just something that is relevant to only two of you, it’s better to talk privately,” Robins says. The rest of the group may want to hear it (depending on how juicy it is), but that doesn’t mean they need to.
What to do instead: If it’s heated, personal or just not for everyone, take it to a separate chat. Or better yet, say it in person.
Mute before you bail
If you just can’t take it anymore, avoid the digital equivalent of slamming the door or ghosting. “Putting the group on ‘mute’ is a great option to step away without hurting feelings,” Robins says. Not every thread needs a dramatic exit.
What to do instead: Overwhelmed? Mute the chat for a bit. Most phones have options allowing you to mute the chat for one hour, one day or until you turn it back on.
Know when to stop texting
“Knowing when to stop is a life skill,” Frieman says. Whether it’s a group text or a sales pitch, don’t keep going just because someone responded again. “Respect people’s time, even if they’re on your phone, not in your living room.” No need to ask everyone if they have fun plans for the weekend—group texts aren’t the place for small talk.
What to do instead: Got your answer? Cool. Drop a polite thank-you, and let the thread die a dignified death.
How to leave a group text gracefully
It’s totally fine, and expected, to leave a group chat organized for a specific purpose, like organizing a party or doing a group project. Once the chat has served its purpose, you don’t have to keep the channel open. “When the project wraps up, just send a quick, ‘Thanks, everyone. I’m out!'” Robins says.
It gets trickier, however, when you’re in a group text thread with friends for no clear purpose other than to stay in touch. Think twice before leaving these groups. Even if the texts get to be too much for you, the people shouldn’t be—and maintaining relationships with others is one of the most important things you can do to live a happy life. That said, you don’t have to do that through a group chat. It’s convenient, but it’s also OK to tell people you prefer to catch up in person.
In that case, close the loop with a friendly goodbye, letting them know that it’s not them—it’s just a personal preference. It shows respect and leaves the door open for future chats (that you actually want to be in). Then be sure to follow up with your loved ones individually and in real life.
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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on group text etiquette, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who specializes in etiquette and communication for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Richie Frieman, digital technology expert, founder of the Modern Manners Guy and author of Quick and Dirty Tips; phone interview, May 19, 2025
- Mary Robins, MS, lecturer in communications and language studies at Bryant University; email interview, May 16, 2025
