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Joan Rivers: 7 Candid, Hilarious, Unapologetic Quotes

The trailblazing, Emmy award-winning comedian and talk-show host had something to say about everything. Here, we've collected some of her most memorable remarks.

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Laura Formisano

The first time I see a jogger smiling…

…I’ll consider it. —Joan Rivers

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Laura Formisano

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese.

Most of it’s missing and what’s there stinks. —Joan Rivers

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Laura Formisano

I was born in 1962. True.

And the room next to me was 1963. —Joan Rivers

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Laura Formisano

I hate housework.

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. —Joan Rivers

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Laura Formisano

People say that money isn’t the key to happiness…

…but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. —Joan Rivers

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Laura Formisano

A child of one can be taught not to do certain things…

…such as touch a hot stove, turn on the gas, pull lamps off their tables by their cords, or wake mommy before noon. —Joan Rivers

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Laura Formisano

I enjoy life when things are happening.

I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive. Things are happening. —Joan Rivers

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Originally Published in Reader's Digest