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These 8 Odd, Outrageous Food Stories Might Make You Lose Your Appetite

From a 20-year-old hamburger that still looks edible to Chinese noodles laced with opiates, these recent headlines are almost too weird to be true.

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Calling Noodleholics Anonymous

If you can’t win over customers with quality cuisine it’s time for Plan B. That’s the route taken by one Chinese restaurant owner. He was arrested and charged with lacing his noodles with opiates in order to get customers addicted to his food.
Source: odditycentral.com

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It Doesn’t Taste a Day Over 19!

Two Australian teens went to a McDonald’s where they bought three Quarter Pounders. They ate two and saved the last for a friend, who never showed up. But being pals, they held on to it for him. That was twenty years ago, and they still have the burger. Said one of the teens: “It looks the same as the day we bought it.”
Source: The Mirror

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Neck-Licking Good!

Some people like their food so much they want to wear it. The Meg. C. Jewelry Gallery in Lexington, Kentucky, introduced a line of necklaces and earrings made from gold-plated Kentucky Fried Chicken bones, ranging in price from $130 -$200.
Source: kentuckyforkentucky.com

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David Clark/iStock

Food Porn

There must not be much to watch on Korean television, because foodies there pay big bucks to watch others binge-eat online. “People enjoy the vicarious pleasure when they can’t find that food at night or are on a diet,” says one entrepreneur, Park Seo-yeon. Park should know: Her site rakes in over $9,000 a month from advertising and donations.
Source: web.orange.co.uk

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Oh, de Toilette

No matter how much we adore food sometimes the love isn’t reciprocal. So a Frenchman, Christian Poincheval, has created an all-natural herbal pill that, he insists, covers up the odor from one’s bodily gases with the lovely aroma of roses and violets. In December, the Father Christmas pill gives one’s wind a hint of chocolate. “It’s a nice present for the festive season,” he says.
Source: Thelocal.fr

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Christine Glade/iStock

You Smell Good Enough to Eat

Of course, it’s not enough to wear your food—some times you want to be enveloped by it. So the makers of Stilton cheese created the perfume Eau de Stilton, which boasts an “earthy and fruity aroma” that lets one fulfill their dreams of smelling like a wheel of blue cheese.
Sources: The Telegraph

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Pali Rao/iStock

What’s Next, Artisanal Swizzle Sticks?

Have mediocre ice cubes made you swear off ordering drinks when dining out? For $1 extra, the Washington, D.C. restaurant Second State offers artisanal ice cubes hand-cut from blocks of ice. Apparently, the ice cubes melt slower than your average ice, and since its water contains no calcium, the cubes are crystal clear, never cloudy, making it a drink you’ll be proud to quaff in public.
Source: Washingtoncitypaper.com

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Brian Raisbeck/iStock

I’ll Have the Chicken A La Lufthansa

Who doesn’t love airline food?! A German grocery store has introduced a delivery service called Air Food One. Customers receive “meals that match the business class menu currently available on planes,” reports odditycentral.com. The spread, said a company spokesman, is a lot like one you might cook yourself, “depending on how well you cook.”
Source: odditycentral.com

Reader's Digest
Originally Published in Reader's Digest

Andy Simmons
Andy is a longtime editor at Reader’s Digest, where he’s edited and reported on national interest, dramas and humor. He is the author of Now That’s Funny! featuring his most popular, funniest writings on all things America, some exclusive and all-new, some taken from the award-winning pages of Reader’s Digest. He also wrote That Reminds Me of a Joke ..., a collection of gags and hilarious true stories taken from the news. In a past life, Andy graduated from Kenyon College and was an editor at National Lampoon Magazine.