15 Etiquette Don’ts in Other Countries—And What to Do Instead

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Don’t gift flowers in France

Although considered a thoughtful gesture in some cultures (and even seen as rude to show up without them in some cases), Doni Belau, the founder of the women-only travel company, Girls’ Guide to the World, cautions against gifting flowers in France.

“If you are lucky enough to get invited to a French person’s home, it is a no-no to bring flowers, specifically chrysanthemums, which are reserved for funerals or gravesites,” she says. “Flowers in general are also considered slightly rude because a bouquet without a vase demands that the hostess drop what they’re doing and put the flowers in water.”

What to do instead: If you’re really set on gifting something floral, Belau says you can send flowers (so long as they are not chrysanthemums) in a vase in advance. Or, she suggests, skip the bouquet altogether and bring a chilled bottle of French champagne or a fabulous box of French chocolates to share instead.

Don’t shout in the Czech Republic (or, honestly, anywhere)

Hands up if you’re familiar with (or have, perhaps, even been) that stereotype of the American traveler abroad: loud, and oblivious to just how loud. The stereotype exists for good reason; Americans abroad are notoriously noisy. Or, as fellow travel writer, Annie Goodman, puts it, “We’re an excitable bunch!”

Travel blogger Veronika Primm recently encountered a group of young American visitors on a crowded bus in Prague who were standing in a circle, talking loudly about their favorite rugby players while wearing backpacks that they kept bumping into other passengers. “Many Czechs get annoyed when there’s a group of tourists being super loud, especially in quiet environments such as public transport, where there’s nowhere to escape,” Primm says. “We Czechs are a lot more mindful about our surroundings, and then view such [loud and unaware] behavior as too stark a contrast.” While she notes that it’s unlikely a local person would directly address a boisterous bunch, people are bothered by the behavior.

What to do instead: “Just be aware of your surroundings and match the volume,” Primm says.

Don’t decline a cup of tea or coffee in Turkey

“Turkish people love showing their hospitality by offering tea or coffee when someone visits their home or office, or when they meet at a cafe and pay for others’ tea or coffee,” says Ekrem Seyhan, the destination product manager at Intrepid Travel in Istanbul, Turkey. “Don’t turn them down.”

“There’s a Turkish saying, bir kahvenin kırk yıl hatrı vardır, which means ‘a single cup of coffee has a memory of 40 years,'” Seyhan explains. “So when someone offers you a cup of coffee, it also means they want to keep your friendship for a very long time.” If you decline, this signals to them that you don’t appreciate them or value their friendship like they do. Ouch!

What to do instead: Drink up. You can simply show your gratitude by accepting the Turkish coffee or tea invitation. (Of course, the exception to this is if you have a medical reason for not drinking coffee or tea. In that case, just politely explain.)

Don’t make fun of folklore in Iceland

Iceland is steeped in folklore, with tales of elves and giants, and some natural sites around the country that are considered sacred. The co-founders of Hidden Iceland, Dagný Björg Stefánsdóttir and Ryan Connolly, recommend visitors avoid cracking jokes about Icelandic lore. “The mistake visitors make is assuming a local is telling a funny story or joke, and then the visitor laughs. This is a faux pas,” Connolly explains. “You shouldn’t make light of the belief in the hidden people of Iceland, elves, trolls, giants or yule lads in Iceland. While Icelandic folklore is perhaps more colourful than the more brutal stories of the Vikings from the Sagas, there is still a large number of Icelanders who believe in these creatures. Even people who do not believe anymore still treat the lore with respect and are proud to share the stories with tourists.”

What to do instead: Icelanders are generally friendly and unlikely to express their frustration to a visitor who insults local lore, but, as Connolly says, their stories and beliefs are an important part of their culture and should be treated with care. “Ask your local guide to share their knowledge, beyond the geology and history of each place. They will be very happy to do so,” Connolly suggests. “Treat each story with respect and do not assume that the person telling the story doesn’t believe in the hidden people. They are sharing an important part of their heritage with you.”

Don’t forego greetings in Jamaica

Americans are sometimes known for being in a rush and getting straight to the point. And that can come across as rude in many places around the world. “Jamaica is very big on pleasantries,” explains Houston Moncure, the managing director of Bluefields Bay Villas in Jamaica. “Jamaicans will always start a conversation with ‘good morning’ or ‘good afternoon’ before getting into anything else. Many [American visitors] will walk into a shop and just start asking questions like, ‘How much is that?'”

If you can’t bother with simple greetings, don’t expect stellar service. “Nothing will show you don’t live here faster than this,” Moncure says, “and failure to abide will result in bad service.”

Belau says the same is true in France, where she lives part of the year. “It’s considered rude to walk into a store, shop, or restaurant and not greet the person working there,” she says. “Even though Parisians are often considered rude, the real story is that they are extremely polite and formal with people they don’t know. So when you aren’t following their rules of politeness, they think you are rude, and then they are rude back.”

What to do instead: There’s a very easy fix for this. Take a beat and offer up a greeting before anything else. And then be mindful not to make another misstep by overusing mon (a well-known Jamaican word that’s similar to “man” but isn’t used exclusively for men). “Many visitors think adding ‘mon’ to the end of every sentence means they are speaking Jamaican Patios,” Moncure says. But that can make you seem disrespectful or culturally ignorant. “While most Jamaicans shrug it off as the reality of being an island of roughly three million but a culture famous around the world, [overuse of ‘mon’] certainly shows who is an uncultured traveler.”

Don’t pass the pepper sauce in Trinidad and Tobago

How could a little bowl or bottle of sauce cause such a stir? “Trinidadians love pepper sauce, and you’ll find it on every table in every restaurant,” says Warren Sinanan, the general manager of HADCO Experiences, a Trinidadian ecotourism company with a collection of eco-hotels and sustainable travel activities. So you’ll definitely want to sample the popular condiment when you travel here. (Be warned, though, you might get hooked and need to make room in your luggage for a giant bottle of pepper sauce, like I did!).

Just be careful about how you share it. “Here in Trinidad and Tobago, it is a faux pas to pass pepper sauce directly hand-to-hand to another person,” Sinanan says. While it’s also considered poor table manners to pass hand-to-hand here in the United States, there’s a tradition that goes along with the behavior in Trinidad. “It’s believed that handing over the spicy condiment directly can lead to arguments or negative thoughts between both people involved,” Sinanan explains. He says that while the origins are unclear, the belief has carried on for generations.

What to do instead: Want to add some spice to your meal and share the sauce, but not cause a stir? Doe hut yuh head (meaning, no worries), as they say in Trinidad and Tobago! “Just set the bottle down on the table so the other person can pick it up,” Sinanan advises.

Don’t assume everyone speaks English in Costa Rica

One of the frustrations I most often hear from friends in Costa Rica is that visitors assume everyone speaks English… in a country with an official language that is not English! (Hint: It’s Spanish.) Tourism is indeed an important part of the economy, and you will encounter many guides, drivers, hotel staff and everyday people with excellent English skills (as well as French, Italian, German and more). But the expectation that all Costa Ricans should speak English is absurd and conveys a disregard for the culture and language that already exists here.

In a place where the laidback pura vida (meaning “pure life”) mindset is prevalent, you won’t get far by raising your voice or pitching a fit if someone doesn’t understand English.

What to do instead: No one is expecting you to become fluent on your first day. But a little prep and effort go a long way. Learn some basic Spanish phrases before you board your flight, and keep a running list of useful words and phrases in your phone—both to reference and to build on each day. As you travel through Costa Rica, practice the words you do know, save new ones that you learn along the way, and keep a sense of humor about it. It can feel awkward at first, being a full-grown adult with the vocabulary of a toddler, but you will see a completely different side of Costa Rica if you show respect for and interest in the culture and language. This advice holds true no matter what non-English speaking country you’re visiting.

Don’t expect much personal space in Brazil

“Expect that people will stand close to you when speaking with you, while waiting in lines and in most public places,” says Dean Foster, culture consultant, author and host of the “Oops Your Culture is Showing” podcast. And be aware that the small space between you may even temporarily disappear. “There may be much more physical touching [while talking], which is an indication in most cases of nothing more than trust and caring,” Foster says. “This is the result of historical experiences where people could not rely upon rules and systems as much as close, reliable, personal relationships.”

What to do instead: Mentally prepare yourself for less personal space than you might be accustomed to, and embrace the new-to-you cultural experience. (Of course, if you are uncomfortable with physical contact or it’s a violation of your personal or religious beliefs, you’re not obligated to endure it, and you can make that known.) Understand that in Brazil, this kind of closeness is quite normal, so if you back up, they may instinctively move closer—not in a rude manner, but out of habit. “If you keep stepping back,” Foster says, “they will step forward. And you will appear to be dancing!”

Don’t pass food with chopsticks in Japan

Japan is a culinary traveler’s dream. But you’ll be seen as a bit of a nightmare—or at least disrespectful and culturally clueless—if you commit this dining sin.

“Do not pass food directly from one pair of chopsticks to another,” says Carly Dela Cruz, an international program manager and Japan guide for The Table Less Traveled. “This mimics a ritual performed at cremation ceremonies.” Yikes! You can understand how this cultural faux pas could quickly take the dinner mood from “oishi (delicious)” to “oh nooooo.”

What to do instead: If you want to share food, Dela Cruz says, just place the food on a plate and then let the other person pick it up after you’ve set it down.

Don’t point your feet at people or sacred objects in Thailand

In Thai culture, the feet are considered the lowest part of the body, says Banyan Tree Krabi host, Nitchakarn Paepetthong (known by friends, colleagues and guests as Freya). “So, using your feet to point, move things, or stretch them toward someone can be seen as rude.” Freya says wearing shoes indoors is also seen as disrespectful, especially in sacred or private spaces. And on the opposite end of things, the head is considered the most respected part of the body. So you shouldn’t touch anyone’s head or pass or throw things over someone’s head, even in a friendly way, she explains.

While there’s no legal penalty for inadvertently baring your sole (pun intended) to someone or wandering into a temple with shoes on, Freya notes that it can make people near you feel uncomfortable or offended. “And in temples, someone might kindly remind you to adjust your behavior.”

What to do instead: Be mindful of your feet. Avoid pointing them at people or sacred objects, especially Buddha images. Take off your shoes before entering someone’s home or a temple. And remember not to touch anyone’s head. “Thai people are generally understanding when visitors aren’t familiar with local customs,” Freya says, “but showing awareness is always appreciated.”

Don’t use your left hand in India

Whether you’re naturally right-handed or left-handed, this applies to everyone: avoid using your left hand to eat in India. “The left hand is historically regarded as unclean in India, as it is used to perform personal hygiene,” says Mohd Rizwan, the director of Travelosei, a luxury tour operator in India. “Presenting gifts, shaking hands or eating using the left hand may be regarded as disrespectful.”

Although eating with your left hand is a cultural faux pas you should try your best to avoid, there are thankfully no harsh repercussions if you slip up. “India is a very forgiving country, and people will usually explain the right way to do things,” says Harsh Sonawala, the co-founder of IndiaSomeday. “You may come across some frowns or strange looks, or even some strong reactions, but there are no legal consequences.”

What to do instead: Dine like local people do. “Indians believe eating with your hands is the best way to savor food, and you should definitely try it while you are here,” Sonawala says. “Just remember to eat with your right hand.” Andreichuk always suggests that his guests (to Tanzania, where the belief that the left hand is unclean is the same as in India) get in the habit of using their right hand for things they do in public—greetings, food and payments—before the trip, so it’s second nature by the time they arrive.

Don’t touch others in Jordan (unless they initiate)

Physical contact should be consensual, no matter where you are in the world. And in Jordan, touching may not only cross someone’s physical boundaries, but it can also be disrespectful of their culture. According to Islamic law, you shouldn’t touch anyone of the opposite sex, unless they’re your spouse or a close family member, such as your parent, who is considered mahram (someone a Muslim can’t marry due to close familial connections). In Jordan, where more than 90 percent of the population is Muslim, something seen as harmless in your culture, like tapping someone on the shoulder or greeting them with a handshake, can make people uncomfortable.

But if you travel to Jordan, you will notice how friendly people are and you’ll see many shaking hands, hugging and giving air-kisses. Seems like a lot of touching after all! But these interactions tend to be between people of the same sex, close family and friends and/or non-Muslims. You may also notice physical greetings between people of the opposite sex are more common in the capital city of Amman than in rural areas. Amman is home to a diverse population, so you may encounter some Muslims and non-Muslims in the city who are comfortable with physical greetings between members of the opposite sex. In my circle of friends in Amman—which includes Jordanians as well as people from Palestine, Syria, Africa, North America, and Europe—you’ll find a variety of interactions, from zero physical contact to handshakes to hugs. And then there’s my favorite: the long-hug-with-multiple-air-kisses combo that they give when I return to Jordan after being away too long. The more air kisses they give, the more they missed me!

What to do instead: Let them lead. Don’t assume people’s religious beliefs or levels of comfort; simply keep your hands to yourself unless someone extends theirs. Fortunately, a simple solution also exists here (and in Muslim culture, in general): put your right hand to your heart when meeting people or expressing gratitude.

Don’t beckon people palm up in Tanzania

A direct route to rude-land in Tanzania? Motion for someone to come to you with your palm facing up. “That’s the gesture used to call animals here,” says Alex Andreichuk, founder of Altezza Travel, an East African tour operator based in Tanzania. “So when it’s aimed at a person, it comes across wrong. Even if you mean nothing by it, people may find it disrespectful.”

What to do instead: If you want to call someone over to you, Andreichuk says, “just turn your palm down and curl your fingers toward yourself—more like scratching the air than waving.”

Don’t be surprised by portion sizes and stares in Nepal

If you feel like your first portion is tiny and you’re being watched when eating a meal in Nepal, don’t panic. “More food is coming!” Aayusha Prasain, the CEO of Community Homestay Network in Kathmandu, explains. And those eyes you feel? “They come from a place of care,” Prasain says. Hosts may keep an eye on you because they want to ensure their guests are well fed.

You may also wonder why they don’t sit down and join you. Don’t worry; they’ll eat after. Due to cultural beliefs about purity, once someone starts eating, they avoid touching shared food, Prasain explains. Therefore, hosts may choose to eat later so they can continue serving their guests.

According to Prasain, these gestures reflect the philosophy of Atithi Devo Bhava, meaning “guests are like gods,” which is deeply rooted in Nepali hospitality. “Nepali families tend to show how welcome guests are by adding more portions once guests have finished their first serving or are halfway through,” Prasain says.

What to do instead: Just enjoy your meal! Unless, of course, you have food restrictions, are full or have another reason not to eat what’s served to you. In that case, Prasain says declining a host’s hospitality with a gentle voice, a smile and an explanation is perfectly fine. “Travelers shouldn’t feel pressured into accepting food that they do not eat or cannot finish.” If possible, it’s best to communicate these things in advance, especially if you have specific food restrictions. Your tour operator or guide can help relay the message. And when you do sit down for a meal, don’t be afraid to eat traditional foods with your hands. Just be sure to use the right hand, like in India.

Don’t pry in Australia

If you’re fortunate enough to spend time with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people in Australia, don’t pressure them to speak quickly or share more information than they offer. “Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples often take long pauses before responding to a question and are comfortable with the silence as they consider their response,” explains Juan Walker, a Kuku Yalangi man, regional guide for more than 20 years, and the owner of Walkabout Cultural Tours in Far North Queensland. “They may speak quietly, and if there’s a question they’d rather not answer, they may say that it’s secret men’s or women’s business, or gently divert your attention elsewhere.”

Walker says that out of respect for their Elders and their cultures, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people want only to offer what they know, or what’s appropriate for them to share. For example, in Queensland’s Daintree Rainforest, Walker leads visitors along a path near a waterfall, but only women can enter the cascades, as this is a place for women only. Being male, Juan says it’s not his place to talk about what goes on there—nor would he even know. (I found this to be true in Tasmania, too, where the male guides stayed back at our basecamp when a Palawa woman took me to a specific beach that was an important place for women in her culture.)

What to do instead: Prepare in advance by checking out information shared by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, such as on the Discover Aboriginal Experiences website. “You may learn that in some Aboriginal cultures, it’s impolite to look someone directly in the eye, or handshakes are reserved for funerals,” Walker says. In those cases, “a simple hello is more appropriate.” Then, allow your hosts to set the pace. Be patient and simply listen. “If a traveler keeps repeating a question, the Indigenous person may no longer speak or engage,” Walker says. “So you are potentially missing out on really connecting.”

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Sources:

• Doni Belau, travel expert and the founder of the women’s only tour company, Girls’ Guide to the World
• Veronika Primm, Czech travel blogger at Travel Geekery
• Ekrem Seyhan, Turkish cultural expert and the destination product manager at Intrepid Travel in Istanbul, Turkey
• Ryan Connolly and Dagný Björg Stefánsdóttir, co-founders of Hidden Iceland, a tour company based in Reykjavík, Iceland
• Houston Moncure, managing director of Bluefields Bay Villas in Jamaica
• Warren Sinanan, general manager of HADCO Experiences, a Trinidadian ecotourism company
• Dean Foster, culture consultant, author and the host of the “Oops Your Culture is Showing” podcast
• Carly Dela Cruz, international program manager and Japan Guide at The Table Less Traveled
• Nitchakarn Paepetthong (Freya), Banyan Tree Host at Banyan Tree Krabi in Thailand
• Mohd Rizwan, native of India and the director of Travelosei, a luxury tour operator in India
• Harsh Sonawala, native of India and the co-founder of IndiaSomeday
• Alex Andreichuk, founder of Altezza Travel, an East African operator based in Tanzania
• Aayusha Prasain, Nepali CEO of Community Homestay Network in Kathmandu, Nepal
• Juan Walker, Kuku Yalangi man, regional guide, and the owner of Walkabout Cultural Tours in Far North Queensland, Australia