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Santa Won’t Be Visiting These Homes: Home Inspector Nightmares, Holiday Edition

Santa's got a big job, and these homeowners made it a heck of a lot tougher.

Santa lost his bootCourtesy Structure Tech

Santa lost his boot

No, this isn’t a trash can. I think a good chimney cleaning is in order. Check out these funny (and heartwarming) stories of kids meeting Santa.

Pillars of the earthCourtesy Structure Tech

Pillars of the earth

Lots of bad bricks here that a little tuckpointing may have prevented. At least it matches the rest of the chimney.

Liberty BellCourtesy Structure Tech

Liberty Bell

It’s cracked like the Liberty Bell. This cracked chimney liner needs to be repaired to prevent a chimney fire! Check out these hilarious and wacky holiday gifts people really received.

Brick Work Gone BadCourtesy Structure Tech

Brick work gone bad

Some repairs are so neat and well-executed that you barely even notice them. Not this one, though.

Boy-O-Boy!Courtesy Structure Tech

Boy oh boy…

Not only is this chimney badly deteriorated, it’s almost completely missing any clay or metal liner. This is the poster child for why you should have your chimney inspected. Get a laugh from these hilarious letters to Santa from real kids.

What's wrong?Courtesy Structure Tech

What’s wrong?

Let me count the ways…broken chimney cap, missing mortar and bricks, all that’s gonna cause a few leaks. This chimney needs some major repairs.

Toboggan ice-dam solutionCourtesy Structure Tech

Toboggan ice-dam solution

Granted, this is quite a clever setup. But it seems like it might be less work to just fix the ice-dam problem! This odd fix is right up there with these 25 funny and relatable Christmas family photos.

Walking in the winter wonderlandCourtesy Structure Tech

Walking in a winter wonderland

If only the squirrels living in the soffits would quit using this vent to drain their bathwater…I guess they just don’t understand ice dams.

Grow your own hardware clothCourtesy Structure Tech

Grow your own hardware cloth

Keeping rodents out of your chimney is important. But there are actually store-bought solutions for adding chimney caps that work better. Here are some more photos of home improvement fails that will make you cringe.

Water runs uphill right?Courtesy Structure Tech

Water runs uphill, right?

If so, the shingles are upside down. Gutters and downspouts are generally at the bottom of eaves.

Brokeback roofCourtesy Structure Tech

Brokeback roof

Some people should skip the hand-framing and stick with roof trusses. That way you don’t need to be a skilled carpenter. For some more eye-popping holiday photos, check out these outrageous Christmas house lights from all over the world.

Larry, Curly and MoeCourtesy Structure Tech

The Three Stooges

Apparently, there was one shingle from the old roof that just had some sentimental value. But eventually, this homeowner will have to give up on sentiments and replace the shingle.

Helpful signageCourtesy Structure Tech

Helpful signage

I know every time I want to start a fire in the fireplace, I check the chimney cap to see if it’s OK. Maybe the flue should get inspected. Laugh your way through the holiday season with these 

Patchwork quilt for housesCourtesy Structure Tech

Patchwork quilt for houses

Maybe the shingles spell out a cry for help to passing airplanes? I think this fella is just collecting all the leftover shingles from his roofing contractor buddies. Perhaps it’s time for a roof tear-off.

Getting set up for a green roof?Courtesy Structure Tech

Getting set up for a green roof?

More likely this is to keep the roof from burning in a wildfire. We guess it would be better than nothing. Here are some more helpful things firefighters wish you knew about preventing home fires.

Is this foam the fireproof kind?Courtesy Structure Tech

Is this foam the fireproof kind?

Perhaps this was supposed to be for plugging leaks around the flue. Recapping the chimney the proper way might be a better strategy.
Hubcap Flue CapCourtesy Structure Tech

Hubcap flue cap

Well, that’s one way to keep the rain away from your furnace. But there are official rain caps that you can buy at the home center. De-stress this season with these funny Christmas jokes.

Architectural detailing for the agesCourtesy Structure Tech

Architectural detailing for the ages

Here’s proof. The cool thing about installing shingles is that any dummy can do it—but there is a right way to do it!

Dual exhaust downspoutsCourtesy Structure Tech

Dual exhaust downspouts

This is another case of pretty poor planning. The garage furnace flue was cut in before figuring out clearance issues with the gutters. But aren’t those downspouts perfect?

Larry Bird's boyhood homeCourtesy Structure Tech

Larry Bird’s boyhood home

After bouncing the basketball off the roof for five years, I guess mom and dad finally agreed to get junior a backboard. Time to re-shingle this roof! To make your home stand out at Christmastime, take a look at these wacky inflatables your neighbors might not like.

Courtesy Structure Tech

Bad roof design

Hmm, hope the gutters work. Maybe whoever constructed this roof tried making some kind of artistic architectural statement. What’s sure is that a roof slanted towards a vertical wall will never work no matter how creative you get with a gutter system.

Courtesy Structure Tech

Beam through chimney

Yup, that’s a beam going right through a chimney. We’re guessing/hoping the chimney isn’t in use anymore. You’d never find something like this inside the most expensive home in your state.

Courtesy Structure Tech

Dryer duct gutter

Who are they fooling with this fix? It’s admirable that they went to the trouble of painting a dryer vent the same color as the other gutters but you have to figure someone would see it. It is an unusual spot in the roof but this cheap fix isn’t the right solution.

Courtesy Structure Tech

Hey Mon

Maybe this is the start of a new “Kilroy Was Here” tag. Next, get a look at some hilarious photos of real Christmas decorating fails.

The Family Handyman
Originally Published on The Family Handyman