A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

8 Things You Should Never Do When Texting Your Partner

Updated: Aug. 05, 2021

Communication over text is just as important for a relationship as talking in person. Make sure your text messages aren't sending the wrong, well, message.

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Courtesy Nicole Fornabaio

Don’t ask too many questions at once

There are some things you should never, ever say over text. Saying too much is one of them. Asking a question or two makes you seem interested, which is good, but asking too many questions makes your text conversation seem like an interview. “If you’re casually dating or just starting out, don’t ask more than two questions in a row if they aren’t asking any back,” shares Shallon Lester, a dating and relationship expert and author. “Conversations are a two-way street.” Find out exactly what you should never do over a text.

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Don’t send anything you wouldn’t tweet

If you’re wondering how Twitter is involved in texting your significant other, it comes down to how many characters you’re using. “Look back at your texts,” suggests Shallon. “Did his simple ‘How’s your day?’ yield a 309-word diatribe about your spilled latte, flubbed presentation, and annoying call with your sister? Save long conversations for real life and keep texts short to pique his interest.” If these relationship texting rules have you feeling like dating was simpler back in the day, wait till you see these 12 ridiculous dating tips from the 1930s.

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Don’t go nuts with the emojis

If you’re over the age of 15, an emoji every other text should be more than enough. “Too many can come across as cheesy and immature, and many times can be misinterpreted,” says Lester. This is why you always end up dating your “type,” according to science.

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Don’t go overboard with abbreviations

“LMFAO, WYD, and K have their time and place,” explains Sharon. “It’s called high school. Adults use adult words, so lavish your S/O with the extra seconds it takes to spell something out. And avoid peppering cheeky texts with “lol” because it’s juvenile and dilutes your message.” Don’t miss these 9 habits that are subtly sabotaging your relationship.

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Don’t argue by text

Shallon says that while getting into a text argument may seem smart or possibly even inevitable, it’s one of the worst moves you can make, and that’s because it’s really hard to interpret another person’s tone when they’re typing. “Most communication is nonverbal,” she says. “Try saying something like ‘I feel like we’re misinterpreting each other’s tone right now.'” Then agree to pick up the conversation later in person. Find out 15 surprising reasons your partner doesn’t want to have sex.

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Never text when you’re angry

Mad texting is always trouble, so keep it fair. “Wait until you cool off a bit, and your head is clearer,” says professional matchmaker Bonnie Winston. “Impulsively sprouting mean or nasty remarks by text cannot be undone easily. As hard as it might be, give yourself some time to calm down and reason, and think it through. This goes for partners, as well as anyone you really care about.”

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Don’t wake the other person up

If you know your significant other is an early riser or heads to work before dawn, a 7 AM text message might be OK, but otherwise, Bonnie suggests steering clear of early morning and late night text sessions. “Be respectful of other people’s time.” Here’s how long you should wait for a response to that first text message.

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Courtesy Nicole Fornabaio

Don’t text emojis right after a date or meetup

While it may be easier to follow a date or experience with a little smiley face or heart, using actual words makes you seem like an adult in control of their emotions, according to Bonnie. “One client I handle had to be coached to break the habit of sending kisses and hearts emojis after her dates ending and saying goodnight. It appears needy.” Next, here are 15 early signs your relationship isn’t going to last.