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25 Words That Can Make You Instantly Funnier

Cut the malarkey. A few seconds with these words, and you'll be the funniest slangwhanger in all the land.

absquatulateNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Run away

Ex.: We camped in line for the new iPhone all night, but finally absquatulated when the wolves came out.

bloviateNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Brag

Ex.:I’ve made a tremendous amount of money,” the businessman bloviated to the reporters. “Billions and billions of dollars.”

blunderbussNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t call your friend Clumsy

Ex.: “Be careful where you point that musket, you blunderbuss!”

bumbershootNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Umbrella

Ex.: “You can stand under my bumbershoot,” Rihanna offered as the storm began. “Eh, eh, eh/ Under my bumbershoot.” Here’s more hilarious vintage slang that will make you sound awesome.

cantankerousNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Cranky

Ex.: The cantankerous old man scowled at his waitress. “This water’s too wet,” he croaked.

codswallopNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t Say Nonsense

Ex.: I try to watch cable news, but everything they say is a load of codswallop. (Also try: Flapdoodle)

collywobblesNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Queasiness

Ex.: No matter how much I practice beforehand, public speaking on roller coasters always gives me collywobbles! You’ll love these 10 funny spelling mistakes that were actually printed.

discombobulatedNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Disheveled

Ex.: “For some reason,” thought the Tin Man, “passing through airport security always leaves me discombobulated.”

donnybrookNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Brawl

Ex.: When the Sharks and the Jets accidentally booked the same dance studio, it was an all-out donnybrook. (Also try: Argle-Bargle)

fardNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Face paint

Ex., as a noun: Pass the fard, Claudette—I’m due onstage any minute!

Ex., as a verb: It looks like someone farded all over that clown’s face.

flibbertigibbetNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t call your friend Silly

Ex.: The nuns agreed that sister Maria—late for another mass while off twirling in the Alps—was a true flibbertigibbet. Check out these funny words and phrases that were made up by presidents.

flummoxedNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Confused

Ex.: Kanye West was plum flummoxed when Beyoncé failed to win Best Female Video in 2009.

gongoozleNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Ogle

Ex.: Whenever Camilla the chicken passed Gonzo’s door, she felt sure she was being gonzoogled.

hobbledehoyNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t call a teenage boy Awkward

Ex.: As a young hobbledehoy, I failed to get a date until my wedding day.

hoosegowNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Prison

Ex.: They oughta throw you in the hoosegow, because that outfit is a crime against fashion. Don’t miss these other funny words that sound completely made up.

hurlyburlyNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Commotion

Ex.: Fed up with the hurlyburly of city life, The Coens found a nice quiet timeshare on Mars. (Also try: Brouhaha)

kerfuffleNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Fuss

Ex.: There was a great kerfuffle about who should get the diner’s last piece of pie, until we learned it was minced meat.

mollycoddleNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Pamper

Ex.: “I do not mollycoddle my children,” said Molly, tying her 23-year-old son’s shoes. Don’t miss these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.

namby-pambyNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Sissy

Ex.: “Don’t be a namby-pamby, boy. Pick up that chainsaw and cut your father’s hair.”

skullduggeryNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Dishonesty

Ex.: “I’m not voting for anyone,” the millennial oozed. “Politics these days are nothing but skullduggery.” Here are 9 more funny words to improve your vocabulary.

slangwhangerNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t call someone Profane

Ex.: “I enjoy Lil’ Wayne’s music,” Grandma admitted, “but does he have to be such a slangwhanger?”

smellfungusNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t call someone a Pessimist

Ex.: I hate going to the beach with Al Gore; on every sunny day he’s such a smellfungus!

widdershinsNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Counterclockwise

Ex.: It is a vicious myth that toilet water rotates clockwise in Australia and widdershins in America. Don’t miss these 10 common phrases that sound way funnier in other languages.

vomitoryNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t call it an Exit

Ex.: After eating too much buttered popcorn at the circus, Dad promptly sprinted to the vomitory.

wabbitNicole Fornabaio/

Don’t say Exhausted

Ex.: After a long day of hunting, Elmer Fudd was absolutely wabbit. You’ll also want to check out these fancy words that make you sound smarter.

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