22 Things Your Kid’s Principal Is Secretly Thinking

Straight from the principal's office: Use these tips for a better school year.

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If you want to talk to me about a problem, schedule a morning appointment, when I'm fresh

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By the afternoon, I can get pretty frazzled. These are 33 things your child's teacher won't tell you.

You're right, that teacher does stink

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I'm actually in the process of firing her. Legally, I can't tell you that, though, so that's why I'm sitting here quietly while you complain. This is what teachers want your kids to know. It changes with every grade.

Of course I'm going to disapprove of a child missing class for vacation

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What I won't tell you is that I encouraged my own daughter to pull her kids out of school to visit me during my break. These teacher approved tricks will get your kids ready for back to school.

We had a young man struggling to focus during year-end tests

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"My underwear is on backward," he said. That's the problem with all this testing: We're being judged by assessments taken by kids who may have their underwear on backward. If your child is struggling in school, here is what they should be telling their teacher.

You think that what happens at home stays at home?

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We hear about your financial problems, your nasty fights, your drinking problem. We end up knowing way too much about everybody. Check out these hilarious real-life teacher stories.

The child you see at home?

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That's almost never the one we see at school. These are signs you're raising an emotionally intelligent child.

Don't tell me your child would never lie to you

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All kids make mistakes, and great students are often the ones most afraid to tell their parents when they screw up. Here are clues for spotting a liar.

When we have a child who throws things or tries to hit when she's angry...

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...her parents inevitably say, "I don't have a problem with her at home, because I spank her."

My biggest pet peeve?

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Parents who complain to me before talking to the teacher.

Don't ask me to make a teacher forgive a homework assignment or not to teach a specific subject

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We don't dictate to teachers; we work with them.

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