When my friend’s wife was in labor, he would tell jokes to keep her mind off the pain, but this didn’t amuse her much. I guess it was the delivery.
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Toast at the Zoo
You can see the strangest things if you look hard enough. The other day I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the zoo. It was bread in…
Dark Times
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn’t pay my electric bill. It was the darkest day of my life.
CATEGORIES
- Animal Jokes
- Animal Puns
- Bad Puns
- Bar Jokes
- Birthday Jokes
- Cat Jokes
- Cat Puns
- Christmas Jokes
- Coffee Jokes
- Computer Jokes
- Corny Jokes
- Customer Service Jokes
- Cute Puns
- Dad Jokes
- Daily Life Jokes
- Diet Jokes
- Doctor Jokes
- Dog Jokes
- Dog Puns
- Dumb and Funny Jokes
- Easter Jokes
- Family Jokes
- Food Jokes
- Food Puns
- Funny Headlines
- Funny Quotes
- Funny Stories
- Halloween Jokes for Kids
- Holiday Jokes
- Kids’ Jokes
- Knock-Knock Jokes
- Lawyer Jokes
- Love Jokes
- Marriage Jokes
- Math Jokes
- Math Puns
- Military Jokes
- Mom Jokes
- Money Jokes
- Music Puns
- Office Jokes
- Old Age Jokes
- One-Liners
- Political Jokes
- Puns
- Relationship Jokes
- Religious Jokes
- Riddles
- Santa Jokes
- School Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Skeleton Puns
- Sports Jokes
- Text Jokes
- Thanksgiving Jokes
- Travel Jokes
- Turkey Jokes
- Valentine’s Day Jokes
- Weather Jokes
- Weight Loss Jokes
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Change Up The Menu
“What are these pennies doing in my soup?” the restaurant patron demanded, motioning for the waiter to come over to his table. The waiter walked over and whispered, “You said…
Strawberry Cream
A man walked into the doctor’s office with a strawberry stuck in his ear. “Can you help me, doctor?” he pled. The doctor looked closely, and said, “I think I’ve got…
Stop the Music
“Didn’t you use to hear music every time you put on your Western hat?” one cowboy asked another. “I sure did.” “How did you get it to stop?” “I removed…
Felix Is At The Door
Q: Knock Knock
A: Who’s there?
Q: Felix.
A: Felix who?
Q: Felixausted, let me in!
Lean Forward
Q: Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
A: That’s just how I roll.
Spelling mishap
Q: Erin, spell mouse.
A: M O U S.
Q: Yes–and what’s on the end of it?
A: A tail?
Corny jokes
Corny jokes are a-maize-ing.
Sushi what?
Q: What did sushi A say to sushi B?
A: Wasabi!
QUITTER
I quit my job at the helium factory today.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Teddy Bears
Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A: Because they’re always stuffed.
Toilet Talk
Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed.
2:30 Dentist
Q: What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
A: Tooth hurty.
Burger Dance
Q: Where do beef burgers go to dance?
A: The meatball.
Duck Feathers
Q: Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Old VWs
Q: Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
A: The old Volks home.
Dog and Phone
Q: What do a dog and a phone have in common?
A: They both have collar ID.