Share on Facebook

101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

For when you need the laughs to come fast.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. These are the funniest jokes about all 50 U.S. states.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I invented a new word!

Plagiarism! For more laughs, check out these hilarious cat memes.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. If you got a laugh from this, check out these other math jokes.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast. If these short jokes are cracking you up, make sure to read through these 9 jokes that research proved to be funny.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.” Check out these coffee puns for a while latte laughs.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. If you want something more visual than these short jokes, take a look at these daily life cartoons that prove life is funnier than any stand-up routine.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Knock! Knock!

 

Who’s there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?” Don’t miss these other hilarious knock-knock jokes.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. Everyone can relate to these working from home memes right now.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.” These funny jokes can help you defuse any awkward work situation.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.” Sick? These doctor cartoons will help you laugh through the pain.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you’re probably a genius.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space. Don’t miss these other science jokes every nerd will appreciate.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything. Here are some more of our favorite chemistry jokes ever.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the chicken go to the séance?

To get to the other side.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory. These are our favorite jokes of all time.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business! Cracking up at these dark jokes? You’ll also want to see these funny animal memes.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How does Moses make tea?

He brews.

why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacsNicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?

Put lox on it. If you like these short jokes, check out more funny puns here.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive. These bird puns will quack you up.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes. Check out the favorite hilarious jokes of famous comedy writers.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

It’s two gross.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

“Curses! Foil again!”

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Thanks— I’ll never part with it! If these short jokes are cracking you up, here are some dad jokes that will make you laugh out loud. 

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta. If these short jokes are giving you a laugh, here are more dumb and funny jokes

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it. 

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt!

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little horse. Found that short joke funny? Get a chuckle at these corny jokes.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did one hat say to the other?

You wait here. I’ll go on a head.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador. Don’t forget to read some of our favorite dog jokes

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish. This tastes a little funny.Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

This tastes a little funny.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?

A parrot.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent. 

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen. Here are 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away. These daily life jokes will give you even more to laugh about.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

Bison.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?

The space bar.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?

Because it was cultured.

Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code. For more short jokes, here are 21 anti-jokes you’ll actually find funny.

why did the hipster burn his mouthNicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.

once my dog ate all the scrabble tiles.Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.

He kept leaving little messages around the house. Celebrate National Tell-a-Joke Day with these 25 corny jokes.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised. Make sure to remember these 25 clever jokes that instantly make you sound smart.

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

What's Forest Gump's password?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What’s Forest Gump’s password?

1Forest1.

How do poets say hello?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor? If you’re a word nerd, here are 20 grammar jokes that are hilarious.

Where does Batman go to the bathroom?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Where does Batman go to the bathroom?

The batroom.

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

What do you get from a pampered cow?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. Don’t miss 36 more math jokes that will have you cracking up.

Why did the M&M go to school?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

Why do bees have sticky hair?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

How does a rabbi make his coffee?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How does a rabbi make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

I poured root beer in a square glass.Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer. If these short jokes aren’t enough, read up on witty bar jokes anyone can remember.

Why aren't koalas actual bears?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications. Like animal jokes? Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at.

Rest in peace to boiling water.Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Rest in peace to boiling water.

You will be mist.

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw blood.

How do you throw a space party?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

How do you throw a space party?

You planet. Don’t miss these physics jokes every science lover will appreciate.

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.

21.

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?

All of the fans left.

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?

A chew-chew train. Try these other silly jokes for kids.

Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?

It needed help figuring out its problems.

why can't male ants sink?Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Why can’t male ants sink?

They’re buoy-ant.  Keep up the laughs with these classic dad jokes.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Want to hear a construction joke?

Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Talk is cheap?

Have you ever talked to a lawyer? You’ll probably be able to relate to these working from home cartoons right now.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why did the gym close down?

It just didn’t work out!

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Two artists had an art contest.

It ended in a draw! If these short jokes aren’t making the work day go by faster, try these work cartoons to help you get through the week.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.

I lost my case.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

I have a fear of speed bumps.

But I am slowly getting over it. Here are some dog memes you’ll laugh at every time.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Right where you left it.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

What did one traffic light say to the other?

Stop looking! I’m changing! People that get a crack out of short jokes will also appreciate these one-liners.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toad!

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine. These love and marriage cartoons are hilariously accurate.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick!

101 Short Jokesrd.com

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

Envelope. Check out these pizza puns for supreme laughs.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

Because it has a million degrees!

101 Short Jokesrd.com

How do you count cows?

With a cowculator. Need a break from short jokes? These funny photos will crack you up.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why are skeletons so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why is England the wettest country?

Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. Check out these bread puns for the next time you want to loaf around.

Short jokerd.com

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s okay. He woke up.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

What are shark’s two most favorite words?

Man overboard!

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Can February march?

No, but April may.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Where does the sheep get his hair cut?

The baa baa shop! These Pokemon puns are too funny not to laugh at.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because they are easy to see through.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Where do fish sleep?

In the riverbed. These animal cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

How do trees get online?

They just log on!

101 Short Jokesrd.com

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear. You can’t help but laugh at these summer cartoons.

101 Short Jokesrd.com

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted. Now that you’ve learned 101 new short jokes to share with your friends, take a look at these cat cartoons that all cat lovers will appreciate.