They were nervous
Olena-Yakobchuk/Shutterstock First dates are hardly ever smooth experiences. At least one or both of you are nervous about putting yourself out there and trying to get to know a new person. There are a whole slew of doubts that can run through your mind, making the dating process anything but easy. When someone is feeling overwhelmed like this, you can end up walking away from your first date with a less than stellar impression. But according to Melissa Divaris Thompson, a New York City-based marriage and family therapist, that’s not always a reason to put an ‘X’ next to that person’s name.”Sometimes you don’t get an accurate first impression because people are nervous,” she says. “It’s very discombobulating to go on a first date. It can make a lot of people very anxious. I firmly believe it’s not a true representation all the time of who that person really is.” As the saying goes, first impressions aren’t always true. There might be much more to this person than meets the eye; something you can only find out if you go on date number two.
You’re unsure for a reason
Syda-Productions/Shutterstock If you’re not quite sure about whether you should go on a second date, that’s reason enough to go ahead and book it. If you were absolutely positive that this was not the person for you then you wouldn’t be thinking about it anymore. Laurel Steinberg, PhD, a sex and relationship therapist and professor of psychology at Columbia University, cites this as her number one reason for going on the next date. “If this person is just really not for you it’s not that you’re unsure, it’s that you are sure, and you’re sure that the answer is no.” On the flip side, if there is any room for doubt or uncertainty, that means that there is still a chance that this person could be right for you; she just needs the chance to open up and get to feel more comfortable.