Make a pro / con listLolostock/Shutterstock
OK, so this isn’t technically a question to ask yourself, but making a pro/con list is a good first step when deciding if and when to end a relationship. Lauren Mackler, psychotherapeutic coach and best-selling author of Solemate, recommends listing the positives (pros) and then giving each one a weight of one to 10. Once you’ve created a list of pros, move on to the cons. According to Mackler, examples might be, “‘Poor communication,” “Conflicting values around money and lifestyle,” ‘Lack of emotional connection.'” Like the pros, you’ll want to use the one to 10 scale for your cons. If you see any of these 10 signs, your partner just might not be “the one.”
Is there more conflict and pain than joy and harmony?gpointstudio/Shutterstock
This question seems like a no-brainer, but when you’re in a relationship it’s easy to overlook the bad times and just focus on the good, but answering this question honestly will help lead you to the right decision. “Over time, couples may grow apart, causing alienation, conflict, resentment, or incompatibility,” says Mackler, so asking yourself this question frequently is a good idea. After all, most people don’t show their true colors right at the start of the relationship. And yes, fighting occurs in every relationship, but it shouldn’t be the norm. Here are strategies for handling the most common arguments couples have.