Attention Couples: Always Follow These 8 Rules When Texting Your Partner

Communication over text is just as important for a relationship as talking in person. Make sure your text messages aren't sending the wrong, well, message.

Don't ask too many questions at once

01-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole FornabaioThere are some things you should never, ever say over text. Saying too much is one of them. Asking a question or two makes you seem interested, which is good, but asking too many questions makes your text conversation seem like an interview. "If you're casually dating or just starting out, don't ask more than two questions in a row if they aren't asking any back," shares Shallon Lester, a dating and relationship expert and author. "Conversations are a two-way street."

Ask yourself, "What would Twitter do?"

02-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole FornabaioIf you're wondering how Twitter is involved in texting your significant other, it comes down to how many characters you're using. "Look back at your texts," suggests Shallon. "Did his simple 'How's your day?' yield a 309-word diatribe about your spilled latte, flubbed presentation, and annoying call with your sister? Save long conversations for real life and keep texts short to pique his interest."

Take it easy with the emojis

03-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole FornabaioIf you're over the age of 15, an emoji every other text should be more than enough. "Too many can come across as cheesy and immature, and many times can be misinterpreted," says Lester. Here's why you might not want to add emojis to your emails either.

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Don't go overboard with abbreviations

04-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole Fornabaio"LMFAO, WYD, and K have their time and place," explains Sharon. "It's called high school. Adults use adult words, so lavish your S/O with the extra seconds it takes to spell something out. And avoid peppering cheeky texts with "lol" because it's juvenile and dilutes your message." If you must use trendy abbreviations though, study our list of text abbreviations everyone should know.

Be upfront if the tone seems off

07-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole FornabaioShallon says that while getting into a text argument may seem smart or possibly even inevitable, it's one of the worst moves you can make, and that's because it's really hard to interpret another person's tone when they're typing. "Most communication is nonverbal," she says. "Try saying something like 'I feel like we're misinterpreting each other's tone right now.'" Then agree to pick up the conversation later in person. Asking these two little questions can stop a fight in its tracks.

Never text when you're angry

05-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole FornabaioMad texting is always trouble, so take some tips from what happy couples do when they fight to keep it fair. "Wait until you cool off a bit, and your head is clearer," says professional matchmaker Bonnie Winston. "Impulsively sprouting mean or nasty remarks by text cannot be undone easily. As hard as it might be, give yourself some time to calm down and reason, and think it through. This goes for partners, as well as anyone you really care about."

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Be respectful of reasonable hours

06-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole FornabaioIf you know your significant other is an early riser or heads to work before dawn, a 7 AM text message might be OK, but otherwise, Bonnie suggests steering clear of early morning and late night text sessions. "Be respectful of other people's time."

Don't text emojis right after a date or meetup

08-Golden-Rules-of-Texting-in-RelationshipsCourtesy Nicole FornabaioWhile it may be easier to follow a date or experience with a little smiley face or heart, using actual words makes you seem like an adult in control of their emotions, according to Bonnie. "One client I handle had to be coached to break the habit of sending kisses and hearts emojis after her dates ending and saying goodnight. It appears needy." Make sure you're not guilty of these other annoying texting habits.
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