How to Send Food Back at a Restaurant Without Being Rude, According to a Chef

Professional kitchens are intense, fast-paced environments where hardworking cooks are doing their best to get you high-quality food served in a timely fashion. But as good as they may be, they’re still humans who make the occasional mistake. Sending food back if you’re dissatisfied with your order is perfectly OK (and not inherently rude), but it’s important to follow etiquette rules when requesting a new dish or sending food back.

While there are plenty of habits restaurant staffers dislike, sending food back is acceptable, as long as you know the correct way to do it (and how to complain politely). As with all things, kindness is key. Remember to be courteous, mind your table manners and don’t be annoying, and you shouldn’t have any problems sending food back. Here’s what a professional chef has to say about this restaurant etiquette practice.

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When is sending food back OK?

Sometimes, sending food back is necessary. But there’s a fine line between expressing your dissatisfaction and being entitled to a new meal. While it should never become a regular habit, there are some circumstances where it’s OK to send food back to the kitchen. Here’s when to do it.

Your food is cold

One acceptable scenario is if your food is noticeably cold—and it shouldn’t be. Your server can bring it back to the kitchen for the chef to heat it properly and make sure it’s brought to you at the correct temp.

Your food is cooked to the wrong temperature

Whether your veggies are still raw or your meat isn’t cooked as requested, sending your food back in this instance is warranted. If you asked for your steak medium-well, for instance, and it comes out rare, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask for it to be cooked further. Flag your server as quickly as possible so your food doesn’t get cold. Then, explain the situation. They’ll gladly have it cooked to your liking.

If your food is overcooked instead of undercooked, it’s still OK to ask politely if your meal can be remade. As long as you’re respectful, chefs are happy to fix the problem.

One caveat: If your meat is cooked only a few degrees more than what you prefer, you might not want to request a brand-new dish, especially at small local restaurants where margins are tight.

If there was an error in preparation

Sending food back is always acceptable if a special request was not followed, especially if it’s one involving food allergies. Remember that it’s a chef’s job to cook food the same way every time, so when things get busy, mistakes can happen—it’s not necessarily a sign of a bad restaurant. If your food isn’t prepared as you directed, or if there’s an ingredient on your dish that shouldn’t be there, alert your server right away and remind them of the preparation request you originally made.

If you truly don’t like it

It’s a great idea to get out of your comfort zone when ordering at a restaurant. Dining out is a chance for chefs to impress you with their culinary skills. But everyone has different tastes, and what’s delicious to some might be questionable to others. If you find what you ordered to be truly unpalatable, it’s fine to send it back—just make sure you can offer up a reason, and it may even help the restaurant in the future.

“Ultimately, we want the guest to be happy with their food choice,” says chef Amy Hessel of The Tilted Row in Baltimore, Maryland. “Let your server know that you don’t care for what you ordered within taking a couple of bites. Ask if you can see a menu, and choose something you know you will like.”

What’s the polite way to send food back?

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Now that you know all the instances when sending food back is acceptable, it’s important to know the correct way to do it—and the answer shouldn’t surprise you! Simply mind your table manners.

Speak up quickly

Make sure to flag down your waiter or a manager right away. You can wait until they visit the table after your first few bites, but don’t wait until others in your party have nearly finished their meal.

Be polite

“The most important thing to remember when returning food is to be polite to your server,” says Hessel. As long as you’re kind, respectful and remember to thank them for speaking to the chef or helping facilitate a new dish, no one will mind you sending food back to the kitchen. After all, the staff wants you to be happy.

Be patient

When everyone at your table is already digging in, it’s easy to forget that good food isn’t fast. “Be patient as the kitchen prepares a new meal for you,” says Hessel. “We start it right away, however we are often also working on several other tickets at the same time. We prioritize food that is being remade for a table, but it does take time to cook.”

When is sending food back not OK?

If you’re considering sending your food back, do it after one or two bites, not half the plate. “I feel it is not okay to eat the majority of your meal, and then decide to send it back,” says Hessel. “If there is a problem, alert your server or a manager as soon as you can to allow us to make things right.”

What happens to food when you send it back?

If meat is being sent back because it’s undercooked, a chef will likely cook it for a few more minutes until it’s at your desired level of doneness. Outside of that, most food that’s sent back to the kitchen goes straight into the trash.

“As the chef, first I check to see what the problem is,” says Hessel. “If something is over/undercooked, I check the temperature to confirm. If there is a problem with the taste of something, I will check to make sure everything was prepared correctly, and that there wasn’t an error in making the dish. If the food is not simply being cooked further, we throw it out.”

About the expert

• Amy Hessel is the chef at the critically lauded The Tilted Row in Baltimore, Maryland. Located in the historic Bolton Hill district, the gastropub is a perennial presence on Baltimore Magazine‘s annual “Best Restaurants” list.