50 of the Dumbest Laws in Every State

Alabama: No stink bombs or confetti

If you’re a stodgy school principal from a 1980s film, consider moving to Mobile, Alabama: Stink bombs or any “device, irritant, offensive-smelling or injurious substance” are strictly illegal there. Possession of stink bombs, which are considered a noxious substance, is a Class A misdemeanor, which can carry a sentence of a year in jail and up to a $6,000 fine.

Alaska: No getting drunk in a bar

In Alaska, it is illegal to be drunk … in a bar. According to the Alaska Bar Association, a person who is already drunk may not “knowingly” enter a bar to drink more, or remain in the bar that got them drunk in the first place. Confusing? Yes. Outdated? Sadly, no. Police actually enforce it, and drunk patrons may face up to a $500 fine.

Arizona: No killing the cacti

In Arizona, it’s not only people and animals that are legally protected from murder. The cacti are also included! The state’s native Saguaro Cactus is so endangered and takes so long to grow that you must obtain a permit to interact with it at all—those who don’t comply risk a hefty fine and even up to 25 years in prison.

Arkansas: No mispronouncing the state’s name

Visitors, beware: It’s against the law to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly. Per the state code, the only acceptable pronunciation is “in three (3) syllables, with the final ‘s’ silent, the ‘a’ in each syllable with the Italian sound and the accent on the first and last syllables.” Fortunately, this pretty dumb law, which was created in 1881, is seldom enforced and doesn’t impose a penalty.

California: No Christmas lights after January

You can ring in the holidays—but only for so long. In San Diego, there’s a code prohibiting residents from keeping their Christmas lights up past Feb. 2. Failure to take them down can result in a $250 fine, which is decidedly not festive.

Colorado: No snowballs

While there may be plenty of snow to go around, don’t expect to have snowball fights in Colorado. Some towns, including Aspen and Severance, prohibit throwing missiles—which snowballs (as well as catapults, slingshots and arrows) are considered to be. In 2018, a 9-year-old boy actually fought to have the law overturned. Though he didn’t win and the dumb law is still in place, it doesn’t usually come with a penalty, unless it causes an injury or accident.

Connecticut: Pickles must bounce

A pickle cannot be sold unless it bounces. According to a 1948 article, this law became a necessity after two scheming pickle packers tried to sell pickles “unfit for human consumption.” Connecticut’s Food and Drug Commissioner at the time proclaimed that a real pickle “should bounce” when dropped from the height of one foot. When the dumb law was first enacted, a man was arrested and fined $500, the maximum penalty back in 1948.

Delaware: No trick-or-treating after hours

To prevent “mischief of any sort,” children in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, may only go trick-or-treating between the hours of 6 and 8 p.m. on Halloween—unless Halloween falls on a Sunday, in which case, “such going door to door and house to house for treats shall take place on the evening of Oct. 30” instead. Is this one of the silly laws in the U.S.? Certainly. But while it’s considered criminal mischief, breaking it may come with a fine, usually less than $1,500.

Florida: You can’t be annoying

Bad news for those distant relatives you barely see. If they come for a visit in Florida and begin to annoy you … they’re breaking the law. The state has a nuisance statute that says “all nuisances that tend to annoy the community, injure the health of the citizens in general, or corrupt the public morals are misdemeanors of the second degree” and may be punished as such. But since what’s considered annoying is subjective, one of the dumbest laws in the states isn’t actually enforced. Whew!

Georgia: Don’t let your chickens cross the road

The city of Quitman, Georgia, has an ordinance that states, “It shall be unlawful for any person owning or controlling chickens, ducks, geese or any other domestic fowl to allow the same to run at large upon the streets or alleys of the city or to be upon the premises of any other person, without the consent of such other person.” Guess your chickens won’t be getting to the other side of the road in Georgia—unless you want to risk paying a small fine.

Hawaii: Don’t put coins in your ears

Bad news for all you magicians in Hawaii: The state has outlawed hiding or placing coins in your ears. Though we don’t think this one is enforced today, it could be a good idea to limit your magic tricks to cards and handkerchiefs.

Idaho: No sabotaging tree cutters

There was a silly law passed in 1917 stating that “any person who willfully, maliciously or mischievously drives or causes to be driven or imbedded any nail, spike or piece of iron, steel or other metallic substance, or any rock or stone, into any log or timber intended to be manufactured” in Idaho may be punished with a minimum of six months in jail or a $5,000 fine. Timber!

Illinois: No “fancy” bike riding

Listen here, city slicker: Galesburg, Illinois, city law strictly prohibits “fancy riding” of any bicycle on city streets, particularly riding with both hands removed from the handlebars, both feet removed from the pedals or “any acrobatic” shenanigans on your velocipede. This petty offense may come with a fine, but it usually isn’t enforced unless public safety is at risk.

Indiana: No cold beer

If you wanted to crack open a cold one in Indiana, you’re out of luck. The ordinance states it’s unlawful for grocery stores, convenience stores and pharmacies to “offer, display or sell cold beer for carryout.” This is reserved for liquor stores only, so if you buy beer at your local market, you’d better stock up on ice too. This is heavily enforced—though the person paying the penalty would be the store chilling the Corona.

Iowa: No faking your butter

I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Misdemeanor! Any person who attempts to pass off margarine, oleo or oleomargarine as real butter is guilty of a simple misdemeanor in the state of Iowa that may come with a fine of $100.

Kansas: No couches on porches

If you want to get comfy on the sofa outside, you’d better read your rule book first. Lawrence, Kansas (along with a few other towns) passed an ordinance banning all upholstered furniture on porches, decks and patios. Lawbreakers will have to pay a minimum fine of $100, so think twice when picking out your patio furniture.

Kentucky: No dueling

All public officials and attorneys in Kentucky must swear an oath that they “have not fought a duel with deadly weapons” nor acted as a second in another person’s duel. Good to know now; unfortunately, when the oath took effect in 1848, many would-be duelists turned to murderous street brawls instead.

Louisiana: No crawfish stealing

In Louisiana, it is illegal to steal someone else’s crawfish—like, actually illegal. Breaking the statute, which has been updated to include all livestock, may come with a minimum sentence of two years in jail or a fine of up to $3,000 depending on the total value of the crawfish stolen.

Maine: Don’t park in front of Dunkin’ Donuts

In South Berwick, Maine, it’s illegal to park in front of a specific Dunkin’ Donuts. Legislation states that parking is prohibited at all times in front of the donut chain on Main Street West to “a point of 25 feet south,” “except when necessary or in a case of an accident or emergency.” The law was created with the intention of reducing traffic in a busy area, and failure to comply may land you in hot water, er, coffee, including a parking ticket or having your car towed.

Maryland: No cursing while driving

Making road rage even rage-ier, it is illegal to swear or curse upon any street or highway in Rockville, Maryland. Anyone caught swearing faces a misdemeanor charge, effectively having to add $100 to the city swear jar.

Massachusetts: No remixing the national anthem

It is prohibited to change the “Star Spangled Banner” in Massachusetts, thanks to an excessively patriotic 1917 law. The statute reads that playing the national anthem as anything “other than as a whole and separate composition or number” or “as dance music, as an exit march or as a part of a medley of any kind,” comes with a fine of up to $100. Sorry, DJs!

Michigan: No seduction allowed

Sorry, singles. Michigan has a law on the books that states “any man who shall seduce and debauch any unmarried woman shall be guilty of a felony, punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not more than 5 years or by fine of not more than 2,500 dollars.” Luckily, this is one that’s never enforced, so swoon away!

Minnesota: No pig greasing

Winter in Minnesota can be long, but that’s no good reason to hold a greased pig contest in your parlor. Since 1971, it has been considered a misdemeanor in the state to operate, run or participate in any activity where a pig is oiled up and released with the object of being recaptured—and the same goes for “turkey scrambles.” Violation of this rule is considered a misdemeanor and may result in a small fine.

Mississippi: No limits on Big Gulp size

Mississippi believes in a person’s inalienable right to consume a Big Gulp. Following former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s contentious attempt to restrict the size of soft drinks sold throughout the city, Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant signed a law preventing his state’s lawmakers from enacting rules that limit portion sizes. Though this is a law, it isn’t enforceable, and patrons can only consume the sizes available at each establishment.

Missouri: Tarzans are not welcome

Prankish Tarzans, be warned: In University City, Missouri, it is illegal to “swing upon” another person’s motor vehicle and honk their horn for them.

Montana: No unauthorized “folfing”

Anyone who’s driven through Montana has inevitably wondered, “How far could I throw a Frisbee over the plains?” Those who seek answers should avoid Helena, where it is illegal to play “folf” (that’s “Frisbee golf”) anywhere not deemed a sanctioned “folf course.” Curiosity could cost you $500 or six months jail time.

Nebraska: No marriage if you have an STD

Technically, no person afflicted with a venereal disease is allowed to get married in Nebraska.

Nevada: Be selective with X-rays

Say what you will about the vice and commercialism of Las Vegas—at least they’re looking out for your feet. In Nevada, it is illegal to use an X-ray device to determine someone’s shoe size. Those who don’t comply may be looking at up to six months in jail and/or up to a $1,000 fine. You could use that money to hit the casino instead!

New Hampshire: No moonlight seaweed collecting

In New Hampshire, it is forbidden to collect seaweed from the beach at night, with the law stating: “If any person shall carry away or collect for the purpose of carrying away any seaweed or rockweed from the seashore below high-water mark, between daylight in the evening and daylight in the morning, he shall be guilty of a violation.” Yes, it’s unfair, but you should’ve thought about that before becoming a nocturnal sushi chef. Fortunately, it appears that breaking this rule won’t get you more than a warning.

New Jersey: No pumping your own gas

The Garden State has barred pumping your own gas since 1949 under the Retail Gasoline Dispensing Safety Act. To this day, it’s the only state in the U.S. that strictly prohibits non-gasoline operators from pumping gas. It may be considered one of the dumbest laws in America, but at least you can relax behind the wheel or pick up snacks while someone fuels up for you. And if you do manage to somehow handle the pump yourself, it’s the gas station that’ll be fined—not you.

New Mexico: Redefining indecent exposure

Let’s take a break to focus on what’s not illegal: walking around with your butt out. In New Mexico, “indecent exposure” is defined as “intentionally exposing [one’s] primary genital area to public view.” Buttocks are nowhere to be mentioned!

New York: Sales tax for sliced bagels

If you order a sliced bagel in New York City, fuhgeddabout getting a square deal: “altered” bagels (sliced, toasted, served with cream cheese) carry an 8-cent sales tax. This is one of the funny laws in the U.S. because the joke is that uncut bagels are typically tax-exempt.

North Carolina: Be careful with your doggie bag

In North Carolina, it’s a felony to steal more than $1,000 worth of grease, and a misdemeanor to steal under $1,000 worth. A USA strange law indeed. Grease theft, it turns out, was a big problem in the state before this law was passed in 2012, with midnight grease-bandits persistently preventing biodiesel companies from purchasing restaurants’ excess oil to convert into fuel.

North Dakota: No non-holiday fireworks

If you want to make a splash with your proposal or celebrate something big, you’d better plan it for the 4th of July or New Year’s Eve, because in West Fargo, North Dakota, those are the only two days in the year when you’re allowed to set off fireworks. Sparking a fuse the other 363 days in the year may result in “a fine of not more than one thousand dollars ($1,000) or by imprisonment not to exceed thirty (30) days, or both.”

Ohio: Toilet paper in coal mines, please!

Operators of underground coal mines in Ohio must provide “an adequate supply of toilet paper” with each toilet. If they don’t, their operation can be shut down and they can receive a fine of up to $2,000. (Too bad the letter of this odd American law stops at coal mines.)

Oklahoma: No cutting your own bangs

Want to help a friend with an at-home haircut? Not so fast. The state of Oklahoma demands that anyone who cuts hair have a cosmetology license. Otherwise, they may have to pay a fine of $50. So put the scissors down!

Oregon: No “tests of physical endurance” while driving

It is considered a speed racing offense in Oregon if you participate in any “test of physical endurance” while on the highway. Sorry, y’all: No more seeing how long you can work the steering wheel with your teeth. While a “test of physical endurance” is subjective, driving laws are pretty strict, so this one may result in you getting pulled over and cited with a ticket.

Pennsylvania: No bingo for kids

Planning a bingo night birthday party? Think again. According to this dumb law, any person “17 years of age or younger may not be permitted to operate or play games of chance.” The same rule applies to anyone who’s been convicted of a felony within the past five years. If you roll the dice, so to speak, you risk up to five years in prison and/or a fine of up to $10,000.

Rhode Island: Don’t impersonate an auctioneer

Rhode Island’s “false personification” laws deem it illegal to impersonate an auctioneer. Choose your Halloween costume accordingly, or you may be fined between $20 and $100.

South Carolina: Kids can’t play pinball

If you’re a kid at the arcade in South Carolina and see a pinball machine, just know that it’s technically illegal to play it unless you’re over the age of 18. Fortunately, this is a rule that’s never enforced.

South Dakota: Fireworks approved to help with farming

Farmers in South Dakota have the green light to set off fireworks or explosives to protect their sunflower crops … as long as they are at least 660 feet away from the nearest church, home or schoolhouse.

Tennessee: You can’t lasso a fish

It should come as no surprise that if you’re fishing, you can use a rod and reel, hook and line or trotline. But in Tennessee, “use or possession of any other instrument for the killing, catching, or taking of fish or other aquatic life is expressly forbidden,” meaning a lasso, a basket, your hands or any other method is a no-go. You may get a warning, a written citation or a small fine if you’re caught (pun intended).

Texas: Keep litter on aircraft

It is illegal in Galveston, Texas, to throw litter out of an aircraft. Besides, using the blue bins is so much easier.

Utah: No missiles in bus terminals

Hurling a missile into a bus terminal is a felony in Utah—unless you are an appointed officer of the peace or commercial security personnel (see: mall cop).

Vermont: You can’t get rid of clotheslines

Vermont passed a dumb law just to say there would never be a law prohibiting the use of clotheslines. With the aim of preserving energy use from dryers, the law says that any landlord or homeowner who breaks the law may be subject to a citation or fine. Good to know.

Virginia: No skunks as pets

It’s illegal to have a pet skunk in more than 30 states in the U.S., and Virginia is one of them. No matter how sweet and cute they might be, you may get a visit from animal control if your neighbors see you feeding a skunk or walking it around on a leash. Man, this dumb law in the U.S. really stinks.

Washington: No Sasquatch poaching

It is illegal to poach a Sasquatch in at least two Washington counties. In 1991, Whatcom County declared its roughly 1 million acres of land an official Sasquatch Protection and Refuge Area, giving our nation its first Bigfoot sanctuary. While you may want to capture a Sasquatch if you manage to spot one, hunting Bigfoot is “punishable by a fine of up to $1,000 and/or a year in jail.”

West Virginia: No drones for bird hunting

Though a new law passed in West Virginia allowing hunters to use drones and hunting dogs to find wounded animals, this strictly applies to wild game and is prohibited for birds. Using a machine bird to hunt a real bird will most likely result in a hefty fine or a temporary suspension of your hunting license.

Wisconsin: Better make that butter delicious

Giving credence to its reputation as “America’s Dairyland,” Wisconsin’s bid for the dumbest law in the states demands that all cheese and butter produced in the state be “highly pleasing.”

Wyoming: Don’t buy junk from a drunk

Like Mama always said, “Don’t buy junk from a drunk.” In Wyoming, purchasing scrap “metals, rubber, rags or paper” from an intoxicated person is prohibited. The junk dealer may be fined a minimum of $50 or receive a sentence of no more than 60 days in jail. Take that junk to the junk yard!

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