A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

16 Explanations You Don’t Owe Anyone—Really

Updated: Apr. 12, 2023

The choices we make define us, so we deserve to be confident in those decisions—No justification necessary. These are the things you should never feel obligated to explain to anyone.

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For your religious and political beliefs

It’s no secret that tensions are high in our country and around the world, primarily because of differing political opinions and religious practices.  But what you believe in is your own choice. It’s part of your identity. You can divulge as much or as little about those beliefs as you feel comfortable, but don’t feel like you need to go through all your church’s teachings or your political party’s agenda as justification.

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For your relationships

Don’t let other people take control of your love life. Only you can decide which relationships, romantic or not, will make you the most happy. If you gush to your friends about the new cutie you met online, and they have no idea what you see in him, you alone get to make the final call on whether a second date is a swipe right or left. Conversely, you don’t need to go on a date with someone just because they asked. You know your heart—and your gut—better than anyone. Don’t forget these signs of a healthy relationship.

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For your lack of a relationship

You are a strong, independent woman or man who doesn’t need family members or friends pressuring you about your singleness. Maybe you enjoy not being attached and having the freedom to find out what makes you truly happy. Or maybe you’re struggling to find a halfway decent person in the chaotic world of online dating. I mean, why can’t people just meet at a bar like in the olden days? Or have an elderly neighbor set you up with her grandson? Either way, you don’t need to divulge these thoughts to anyone. (Looking at you, Mom.)

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For not apologizing

If you aren’t sorry, you have no obligation to apologize. You’re kidding yourself if you insincerely say you regret what you did, and it gives the other person a false impression of you and your intentions.

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For disagreeing

You may have one of those friends who thinks he’s always right and is all too eager to share his unabashed opinion on any topic, whether it was asked for or not. Good for him for being so confident, but you have every right to disagree. Don’t shy away from sharing a conflicting view just because it may be uncomfortable. Let your voice be heard.


For refusing to gossip

No matter how much they learned about the consequences of gossiping in middle school, some adults still do it compulsively. If you hear someone spreading rumors or they ask you to contribute, shut it down right away. Giving in can damage your reputation as much as the person being talked about, so let the chatterboxes know you’re not interested. In that conversation, use the one word that stops gossip in its tracks.


For ending (or intentionally not starting) a friendship

Some friendships start off well, but they can become toxic overtime. If you have a “friend” who doesn’t respect you, value your friendship, or make you feel like your best self, it’s time to cut ties. Don’t let that “friend” convince you there’s something to be salvaged. On the flip side, don’t feel pressured to start a friendship with someone you know you won’t get along with, no matter what others say.


For your appearance

Dye your hair. Get that tat. Wear the makeup you feel comfortable in. Dress in your personal style. Love the weight you’re at. How you look is your own business, and once you stop feeling the need to explain why you look a certain way, you’ll start appreciating your own appearance for the one-of-a-kind masterpiece that it is.


For where you live

Some of us like the city life. Some of us like the suburbs. Disregard any stereotypes others may infer about your neighborhood or your housing situation. So what if you’re temporarily living with your parents in Cranky Corner, Louisiana? The reason is personal. No one should judge you for circumstances they don’t fully understand.

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For your career

If you work at your dream job, good for you! If you don’t, good for you! You put thought into that choice, weighed the pros and cons, and made the decision. Maybe you don’t make a lot of money but love what you do. Maybe you’re bored out of your mind but get the bills paid. Whatever the reason, don’t let someone else dictate your career moves. If you do want to switch careers, this is how to find one you’ll love.


For your financial situation

Whether you’re making bank or living paycheck to paycheck, you don’t need to justify your bank account—or give people as much as a hint about your salary. People are worth more than the money they make. Nevertheless, we do have some good money saving tips that may interest you.

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For some time alone

There’s a difference between being lonely and being alone.  But sometimes you just want to be by yourself. Everyone deserves time to rest, watch Netflix, and chill sans the rest of humanity. Don’t feel guilty for changing plans because you needed some alone time. Your mental and emotional well-being comes first, and your friends value your well-being as much as you do.

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For the way you raise your family

No two parents use the same parenting techniques. Sure, some may overlap, but all parents come from different backgrounds, cultures, generations, and childhoods that affect how they raise their own kids. Don’t let criticism from a random mom or dad make you question your style.

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For your sex life

Why people want to get involved in other people’s sex lives, we will never understand. The only people who should be allowed to tell others how to improve their sex lives should be doctors and therapists. Whether they’re too nosy or too critical, pay them no mind. As long as you’re both consenting adults, go get funky with whomever, whenever, wherever. Just don’t break any laws, OK?

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For your life goals

These could be goals for your career, your personal life, your bucket list, or all of the above. Those goals are what keep you going and you are determined to make them a reality. If someone has a problem with your ambitions, they probably have none. Let no one stand in your way. To quote Shia LeBeouf, “Don’t let your dreams be dreams.”

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For being positive

No one should judge you for your attitude, especially if it’s a positive one. If someone’s complaining about a project, a coworker, or heck, even the lunch menu, don’t stoop to their level and return with a complaint you don’t mean. Be proud of your positive outlook on life, and you may even help them develop a positive attitude. That way, you keep on spreading the love! Find out how to develop that positive attitude with these few simple steps.