1.Go ahead and plan your funeral,
2. If you or your spouse is an honorably discharged veteran,
3. You can buy caskets that are just as nice as the ones in my showroom for thousands of dollars less online from Walmart, Costco, or straight from a manufacturer.
4. On a budget or concerned about the environment?
5. Running a funeral home without a refrigerated holding room is like running a restaurant without a walk-in cooler.
6. Some hard-sell phrases to be wary of:
7. âProtectiveâ caskets with a rubber gasket?
8. If thereâs no low-cost casket in the display room, ask to see one anyway.
9. Ask the crematory to return the ashes in a plain metal or plastic container â not one stamped temporary container.
10. Shop around.
11. We remove pacemakers because the batteries damage our crematories.
12. If I try to sell you a package that I say will save you money, ask for the individual price list anyway.
13. Yes, technically I am an undertaker or a mortician. But doesnât funeral director have a nicer ring to it?
14. Sure, you can store ashes in an urn or scatter them somewhere special,
15. Itâs usually less expensive if the body is not present for the funeral.
16. If the deceasedâs favorite outfit is a size too small or a size too big, bring it to us anyway.
17. If I ask you for a photograph of the deceased to help me prepare the body,
18. That may be real gold in your loved oneâs dental fillings or crowns,
19. Never trust a funeral director who says, âThis is the last thing you can do for your loved one.â
20. You donât need to spend money to have a meaningful service.
21. Always bring another person when you meet with me,
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.