9 Corny Spanish Jokes That Will Help You Learn Spanish
In Latino and Spanish culture, jokes are a short-hand for life. If you're trying to hold court at the dinner table, double entendres, corny puns, and insults in Spanglish will always catch attention quicker than asking "cómo estás"? Here are nine that are sure to delight.
Life is a party
¿Nivel de inglés? (What's your English fluency level?)
Traduzca "Fiesta." (Translate "Fiesta")
Úselo en una frase. (Use it in a complete sentence.)
Ayer me party la cara en la bicicleta. (Yesterday, I split my face on a bicycle)
Contratado! (You're hired!)
Yes, the always popular "nivel de inglés" jokes don't always make sense in English. But they can be a hilarious way to play on Spanglish verb tenses and double entendres to help learn both languages. In this case, the English word "party" is being used as a phonetic spelling of "partí," the first-person preterit conjugation of "partir" or "to split." So, because the sentence "Ayer me partí la cara en la bicicleta" technically makes sense in Spanish, the jokester nabs the English-language job. Get it? These are the Spanish phrases everyone should know.
Love of soccer is universal
"Cariño, creo que estás obsesionado con el fútbol y me haces falta." ("My love, I think you're obsessed with soccer and I miss you.")
"¡¿Qué falta?! ¡¿Qué falta?! ¡¡Si no te he tocado!!" ("Fault? What fault? I haven't touched you??")
This is one of the classic Spanish jokes because it plays on the verb "to miss" (me haces falta) and the noun fault (falta). The verb "me haces falta" (the third-person present tense conjugation of hacer falta) means "to miss" someone, and the noun "falta," in this sentence, means "fault," as in a soccer penalty.
Here's a way the joke could work in English:
"My love, I think you're obsessed with soccer, and you're treating me foul."
"Foul, what foul? I haven't touched you???"
For more laughs, here are 75 short jokes worth memorizing.
"I would like to buy a vowel"
"Cuanto cuesta esta estufa?" (How much does a stove cost?)
"$5,000 dólares." (5,000 bucks.)
"Pero, oiga, esto es una estafa." (Hey, listen, that's a scam.)
"No, señor, es una estufa." (No, sir, it's a stove.)
This one plays on the similarity of the noun for stove (la estufa) and scam (la estafa). Just a lesson on how important it is to get those vowels right.
Snakes and mother-in-laws
"Buenas, le llamamos por una encuesta. ¿Su nombre? "("Good afternoon, we're calling you for a survey. Can I get your name, please?")
"¿Y el de su mujer?" ("And your wife's name?")
"Increíble, ¿la serpiente vive aquí también?" ("Incredible! Does the serpent live there too?")
"Si, un momento. ¡¡SUEGRA!!, la buscan…("Yes, one moment, please. Mother, you have a phone call!!")
The word suegra, or mother-in-law, can serve as a proper noun, so the above translation should really read, "Mother-in-law, you have a phone call!" which makes it all the funnier…
A salute hello
"Soy un tipo saludable." ("I'm a healthy guy.")
"Ah. ¿Comes sano y todo eso?" ("Oh, so you eat healthy and all of that?")
"No, la gente me saluda." ("No, people greet me.")
This Spanish joke plays on the verb saluda (the third person singular present tense conjugation of saludar), which means "to greet" and the adverb saludable, which means healthy or healthfully. At least now you'll know why everyone is asking you to "salute" a stranger!
"¿Tienes wifi?" ("Do you have WiFi?")
"¿Y cuál es la clave?" ("And what is the password?")
"Tener dinero y pagarlo." (To have money and pay the bill.)
The noun clave can mean both code and key, which, like in English, can be used interchangeably with a "wise secret."
In English, the joke could go:
"Do you have WiFi?"
"What's your secret code?"
"To always have money in my bank account."
Seeing the weather
Van dos cieguitos por la calle pasando calor y dicen (Two blind men walk down the street, feeling the heat of the day. One says):
"¡Ojalá lloviera!" ( "I wish it would rain!")
"¡Ojalá yo también!" ( "I wish I could see, too!" the other says.)
This Spanish joke plays off the use and similar sounds of the imperfect subjunctive tense, which conveys unlikely scenarios. For example, the third person imperfect subjunctive conjugation of llover (to rain) is lloviera. The first person imperfect subjunctive conjugation of ver (to see) is viera. So, the first blind man's sentence could be"Ojalá que yo viera" (I wish I could see) or "Ojalá que lloviera." (I wish it would rain). Just shows you how important it is to listen carefully! Now read the 25 clever jokes that will make you sound smart.
"Amor, dame el bebé." (Love, give me the baby.)
"Espero a que llore." (I hope that he cries.)
"A que llore, por que?" (Why do you hope that he cries??)
"Porque no se donde lo dejé." (Because I don't know where I left him!)
This joke shows how a preposition can clarify a word's meaning or usage. In Spanish, esperar can translate as the verb "to wish" or "to wait." The prepositional phrase a que (that or for that) both clarifies and builds a bit of suspense for the punch line!
Don't forget your coat!
"Hijo, por que vienes ebrio?" ("Son, why did you come home drunk?")
"Mamá, pero tu me dijiste EMBRIAGATE?" (Mom, but you told me, "Get yourself intoxicated??")
"Te dijé abrígate, imbécil, abrígate!" (I said, "Wear a coat, idiot, wear a coat!")
This one exemplifies the ever-important command tense in Spanish. It delightfully confuses the unlikely usage of embriagate, the second-person imperative conjugation of embriagar (to get drunk) with abrígate, the second-person imperative conjugation of abrigar (to put on a coat).
In English, it could be:
"Son, why did you come home drunk"?
"Mom, but you told me to INTOXICATE myself?"
"I said, insulate yourself, idiot, not intoxicate!"
If you love these Spanish jokes, don't miss our favorite one-liners!
"Cariño despiértate! ¡Se está quemando nuestra casa!" ("Darling, wake up! Our house is burning!)
"Vale, cariño, pero no grites o despertarás a tu madre." ("Ok, my darling, but don't scream, you'll wake up your mother.")
This Spanish joke (screams) for itself. Despertarás is a great example of the future tense, representing the second person future tense conjugation of despertar (to wake up.)
Now that you've learned these Spanish jokes, learn the 12 quirky words that don't have an English translation.